AI/EE

Log of Anomalous items
Foreword: The SCP Foundation has discovered a substantial number of items which are simply too useless to merit further attention. This document may be used as a resource, should knowledge of these items become useful or necessary in the future.

– Doctor █████ █████, Head of Research, Site ██

Note: Please add new entries to the bottom of the list, not the middle or the top.

Item Description: An unbreakable lamp.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████, ████

Current Status: In the possession of Doctor Rights.

Notes: This was the item that brought the so-called “non-SCPs” to my attention. Attempted to requisition for testing; all requests, threats, and bribes were denied.

Item Description: A penny which, when flipped, will always land "heads up".

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████, ███████

Current Status: Melted down.

Notes: Can’t believe that none of the researchers kept this to win bets with.

Item Description: An ordinary brand ███████ number 2 pencil, which will balance easily on its tip for hours at a time.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███████, ████████

Current Status: Incinerated.

Notes: I’m not even sure why this was an anomaly. Maybe it just had a very flat tip.

Item Description: Extremely efficient gardening shears, brand unknown.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███████, ██████

Current Status: In possession of the roof gardening team.

Notes: Hard to describe unless you've actually handled them, but I did and these are just remarkably useful gardening shears.

Item Description: A large stone which generates mild internal heat, slightly warm to the touch. Otherwise not unusual.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███████, ███████

Current Status: Placed in the core of Mt. ██████, an active volcano. Stone may or may not have been destroyed by heat.

Item Description: A bouquet of roses and other assorted flowers which are resistant to wilting, crushing, and burning.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ██████, ████████

Current Status: Unknown.

Notes: I understand these once sat on Break’s desk while she was a secretary, but now that she is in training as a field agent, I’m not sure what’s happened to them.

Item Description: A painting (possibly a landscape, records are unclear) that gave a mild case of diaphragmatic spasms, or hiccups, to anyone who saw it.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███████, ███████

Current Status: Incinerated.

Notes: This would obviously be a pain to work with, but didn't they at least try to see how it worked?

Item Description: Normal garden slugs, whose trail has the exact same chemical composition and taste as commercial-brand ranch dressing. They also appear to reproduce by binary fission every week.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery:████, ███████

Current Status: Salted, remains incinerated.

Item Description: Hammer which will consistently miss the nail intended as its target when used by humans. Use of machinery or robots to guide the hammer results in normal function.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery:██████, ██████

Current Status: Identified by agent working in Site 19's maintenance shed, currently in storage.

Item Description: A parrot which, although not otherwise anomalous, seems to have memorized the entire works of Shakespeare.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████████, ███████

Current Status: In stasis. Looking for an agent, researcher, or other party interested in keeping it.

Interested. I'll fill out the necessary forms later. -Agent Yoric

Item Description: A small rock that emits a bright white light from an unknown source. Otherwise unremarkable.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ██████, ███████

Current Status: Currently in the possession of Doctor Light.

Notes: No radiation, no heat, no evidence of particle decay, no life signs, nothing. I plan to keep it as a flashlight, and believe it will serve as a nice reminder of the inexplicable nature of the universe.

Item Description: A broken jian (Chinese sword) made of Telekill Alloy, crafted by Dr. Clef during the SCP-239 Clef-Kondraki incident.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: Site-19

Current Status: Disassembled and melted back into component parts. Telekill Alloy was recovered for other use.

Notes: In the end, this just wasn't interesting enough to keep around.

Item Description: A 1964 Smith & Wesson .41 Magnum Revolver. When any ammunition is fired from the third chamber, an unidentified male voice will shout "Nice shot!"

Date of Recovery: 09-03-████

Location of Recovery: Wichita, Kansas, USA

Current Status: Not destroyed.

Note: Perfectly serviceable and well-maintained aside from the anomaly. Secured in Site 19's vintage weapons depository.

Note: Accuracy or even proficiency with the firearm is not required for the anomaly to function. Voice sounds whether or not the shot is, in fact, "nice".

Item Description: A wire clothes hanger. Only long-sleeve, blue, men's dress shirts with collar sizes between 15.5" and 16.5" can successfully be hung upon it. All other clothing articles simply drop off to the floor when hanger is employed.

Date of Recovery: 09-15-████

Location of Recovery: Halifax, Nova Scotia, CA

Current Status: Melted down. Resultant slag shows no anomalous properties.

Item Description: One tetherball. When employed as intended in a tetherball match, item shows a 5.9 kg total increase in mass when moving counter-clockwise about the pole. Weight returns to normal when moving clockwise.

Date of Recovery: 9-29-████

Location of Recovery: Bratislava, Bratislava Kraj, SK

Current Status: After thorough internal and external analysis, no harmful extradimensional properties were detected. Currently set up for play at Site 17, outdoor recreation zone ██, pole █.

Item Description: A carton of thirty (30) 60W incandescent bulbs. Ten minutes preceding burn-out of a light bulb, human subjects in the vicinity would become aware of an itching sensation.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████, ████

Current Status: Destroyed, waste remanded to storage.

Item Description: High-fidelity credenza-mounted record player. Musical records played in the device always produce a reproduction of a "live" performance of the piece, even if there was never such a performance made.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-1975

Location of Recovery: Tucson, Arizona

Current Status: Housed in Site-64's recreation room.

Item Description: A flowering dogwood tree that appeared to grow shoes. The growths are actually made of wood and bark. They are only clearly visible when the tree has shed its leaves.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: West Vancouver, BC

Current Status: Transplanted to TAF-1, Sector-28.

Note: May have died naturally of transplant shock, Foundation botanists are investigating.

Item Description: A nuclear snowglobe. When shaken, instead of falling snow, it shows a miniature-scale nuclear explosion. It emits no radiation, sound, or force, and the explosion pattern changes every shake. Aftereffects such as radioactive snow and black rain have been observed. At random intervals, the snowglobe will contain a small shed, car, or truck, which reacts to the explosion.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: Sokrovenno, Russia

Current Status: In storage.

Notes:

If nobody minds, I'd like this for my desk. — Director Peters

Item Description: Appears to be a normal larch tree, but anyone who approaches too closely (3-4 centimeters) is overcome with nausea and begins to vomit. Analysis after the fact shows traces of apomorphine in the subject's blood.

Date of Recovery: 25-12-20██

Location of Recovery: ██████, California, USA

Current Status: Destroyed by multiple shells from SCPS Guardian's 76mm cannon during NSFS practice.

Note: Item was deemed useless and too annoying to contain. The target coordinates for Guardian's next NSFS shoot were altered to those of the tree. The ashes and splinters did not demonstrate the nauseating properties of the entire tree.

Item Description: A squirrel which constantly moved much slower than normal, even when jumping or falling, similar to "slow-motion" video footage.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███████ Family Campgrounds, ███████

Current Status: Shot with pistol. Corpse shown to have no unusual properties.

Item Description: A karaoke machine that causes most listeners to enjoy the song played, regardless of previous opinion.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/200█

Location of Recovery: ███████████, ██████████████

Current Status: Currently in Break Room 12 at Site-17, with note indicating unusual effect.

Item Description: An unbreakable silver bust of the goddess Athena, which will occasionally become several pounds lighter or heavier than previous. Average weight is normal for a sculpture of its size. Not otherwise anomalous.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of Recovery: ███████, Greece

Current Status: Located in Dr. Bright's office, periodically used for target practice.

Item Description: A cheap plastic ping-pong ball, that would change from red to green twice daily.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ██████████, California, US

Current Status: Located under a locker in Storage Room 19-553B. Maintenance team required to extract object.

Item Description: A very large seashell, apparently naturally produced, although corresponding to no known species. No similar specimens have been located to date.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ██████████ Beach, ███████

Current Status: Previously located on Dr. ██████'s desk, destroyed when dropped. Fragments in storage.

Item Description: A white cowboy hat. Any person wearing is compelled to whoop and box dance uncontrollably.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ██ ██████, Texas

Current Status: Kept in a scantly used test chamber and brought out during staff birthday parties.

Item Description: A microwave capable of heating metals and plastics at high temperatures, with no adverse effects.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ████ ██████, Missouri

Current Status: Set up for use by all personnel in the Site 19 cafeteria.

Item Description: A Slinky toy that goes up surfaces, instead of down.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ████ ██████, England

Current Status: In use with SCP-███ to detect variances.

Item Description: A mirror that reflects all objects normally, except for the one holding it.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of Recovery: ████ ██████, France

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A pair of shoelace that systematically unknot while in use, no matter the knot used to tie them.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of Recovery: ████ ██████, Japan

Current Status: [DATA EXPUNGED] with extreme prejudice by Dr Bright after a prank.

Item Description: A highly magnetic hammer. Has been noted to affect non-magnetic metals.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ████ ██████, Moldova

Current Status: Used to detect possible metals in SCPs.

Item Description: An electronic thermometer that reports any temperature below 0°C as -20°C.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of Recovery: █████████, California

Current Status: Destroyed by grinding.

Item Description: Six-sided dice that can occasionally land on a seven.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of recovery: ████████ Gaming Society in ████████, Maryland

Current Status: Being used for research by Dr. McCallum.

Research my ass. He's just using the damned thing to cheat on his sneak attack damage. Dr. Morgan

Item Description: A "hot-and-cold-pepper plant": a Capsicum chinense cultivar each of whose fruits contains, at random, either menthol or capsaicin.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of recovery: ██████████, Sweden

Current Status: Maintained in Site 19 greenhouse, in use by cafeteria staff.

Item Description: A deck of cards which functions normally when used in most card games, but will always produce the desired outcome when used for card tricks.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████, ████

Current Status: Unknown, possibly lost.

Item Description: C███-C███ branded and stylized cola glass. Any liquid drunk from glass reported to taste like P████ brand cola

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: Site-19

Current Status: Destroyed by canteen worker P. ███████, dropped after being washed.

That was my favourite glass too - Dr. Aeish

Item Description: A mini-fridge that rots its contents every Wednesday night.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████, █████

Current Status: Crushed.

Item Description: A .500 ███ ██████ sidearm that discharges all loaded cartridges as if they were blanks.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ██████████, ████

Current Status: In transport.

Someone keeps switching it for my service revolver. I know it's you, Carb. Suggest using it for training exercises.- Agent V████

Item Description: A plastic trash can that ties any plastic trash bag closed upon becoming full, provided the lid is shut.

Date of Recovery: ██-█-████

Location of Recovery: ████████████, █████ ████████

Current Status: Housed in Site-17 men's restroom.

Item Description: A NEHI-brand Peach Soda bottle cap that, having been dropped into a sink garbage disposal, proved to be indestructible.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: ██████████, ████

Current Status: Location unknown.

I swear you guys, I totally set it down next to the phone. It'll turn up. - Junior Researcher █████

Item Description: Glass paperweight which constantly floats exactly seven (7) centimeters above any given surface.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ██████ Funeral Home in █████████, ██

Current Status: Shattered in bizarre a capella accident. Dr. McCallum is currently being questioned.

Item Description: Eleven children's books (recommended for readers aged 4 - 6 years) with copyright dates between 10 and 15 years in the future — that is, between 2005 and 2010. Aside from having come from a future date, the books are not otherwise anomalous.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-1995

Location of Recovery: St. ██████████ Church Flea Market, ██████, ██

Current Status: With the publication of [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] in February 2010, the books are no longer anachronistic (comparison of text and illustrations with publicly-available copies of all 11 books shows no differences), and have been claimed by Dr. ████████ for his daughter.

Item Description: A drinking glass that visually appears to be able to hold a pint (568 ml) of fluid, but overflows when more than 35 ml is poured into it.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-1998

Location of Recovery: ████████, Illinois

Current Status: Currently in Agent Bibs' personal field gear.

"Drinking contests are a great way to gain information out of otherwise unwilling folks. By the way, folks who work at [REDACTED] can't hold their liquor." -Bibs

Item Description: A series of pornographic VHS tapes that, when rewound, would continually change actors, sets, and methods of coitus. All appear to relate to actual filmed movies, though the quality is low.

Date of Recovery: █-██-1995

Location of Recovery: Hackensack, New Jersey

Current Status: Missing, presumed lost. Recently recovered from the possession of Dr. ██████. Missing, presumed lost.

Item Description: A 76-centimeter-tall statue of a clown. In room where it was placed, a giggling sound would be noted whenever lights were turned off.

Date of Recovery: 5-16-200█

Location of Recovery: ██████, Germany

Current Status: Shot approximately 150 times with a 9mm sidearm by Agent ██████, until nothing remained but splinters. No anomalous properties recorded in the remains.

Item Description: 1 m commercial signage with a large stylized neon ice cream cone. When unobserved only viewed in the peripheral vision of all subjects who can see it, wording will change to "10 000 FLAVOURS; ONE UGLY COOK!!"

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: ██████, Canada

Current Status: In storage. Used by Prof ████████ during annual safety lectures regarding memetic SCPs to measure audience's attention.

Item Description: A metal gauntlet that does not conduct heat. Estimates date it to ██th-century England.

Date of Discovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: ████████, United Kingdom

Current Status: Currently part of Dr. Edison's private collection.

Item Description: An adult male capybara (Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris) several thousand miles away from the natural habitat for its species, with bright blue and green fur.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: ████████, Wisconsin

Current Status: Identified as lost exotic pet with ██████████-brand hair dye. Returned to owner; class-A amnesiac administered; recovery agent reprimanded.

Item Description: An HB pencil which cannot be used to write, and only draws photorealistic images of Jimi Hendrix eating various foods.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-1979

Location of Recovery: █████, Liechtenstein

Current Status: Accidentally snapped during testing (1993); portions of pencil did not retain anomalous properties, and were subsequently incinerated.

Item Description: A 24000-carat diamond, cut in the size and shape of a common construction brick.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-197█

Location of Recovery: ███████, South Africa

Current Status: In storage pending identification of source.

Item Description: A white cotton-and-polyester t-shirt bearing the words 'SCP: SECURE CONTAIN PROTECT" on the front, and a crude but recognizable cartoon of SCP-173 on the back, with the caption "SCP-173: DON'T BLINK". Aside from the security breach it represents, the item has no anomalous properties.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: █████████ Thrift Store, New York City, New York

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A wedding invitation which, every six hours, becomes a different wedding invitation. Thus far, all invitations have been for weddings on dates between 5 and 15 years in the past, and have involved persons not found to exist.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: █████████████ Bookshop, ██████████████████, Wales

Current Status: In use as one-time pad generator.

Item Description: 16-month day planner (September 2009 to December 2010) manufactured by the ██████████ company which will duplicate anything written into it across all other units. This only works for date/time entries that have not yet come to pass.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-2010

Location of Recovery: ██████ ███████ Office Supplies, ██████ ████, Florida

Current Status: 17 units in Foundation possession; unknown number remain in circulation (estimated at █). Research personnel are monitoring new entries in an effort to locate remaining copies.

Item Description: An Ikea-brand wall clock which seems to disappear and reappear once every second.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-19██

Location of Recovery: ███████, Scotland.

Current Status: Disappeared at 1124 hours GMT on ██/██/19██. Item never materialised, presumed irretrievable.

Item Description: A rubber-and-metal flyswatter which, when used to kill an invertebrate, causes the user to burst into tears.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-19██

Location of Recovery: ███████ Free Clinic, █████, Suriname

Current Status: Incinerated.

Item Description: An ordinary Pontiac Firebird, bright orange with yellow stripe decals.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: 900 meters below ground level, in an unnamed mine in ███████ province, China

Current Status: Rock around car was carefully extracted, following which the car was brought up through the shaft. After testing revealed no other anomalous properties, the car was broken down into scrap.

Item Description: An instant-film camera with no obvious modifications. When a photograph is taken of an animate object, the developed image is a cartoonized version.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Current Status: Junior Researcher ███████ attempted to take a picture of SCP-███ with it. After whirring for ██ minutes, the camera shattered into several pieces; no photos were produced. Broken pieces displayed no anomalous qualities, and were incinerated.

Item Description: A goldfish with the ability to float in the air at will, without suffocating.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: █████████, Germany

Current Status: Died of enteric redmouth disease. Swim bladder retained floating ability and is under storage for future studies.

Item Description: A spear that, when thrown, pierces the heart of the nearest humanoid and extends several spikes from its blade afterward. Agents are to note that "the nearest humanoid" is typically the person who threw it.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: █████, Ireland

Current Status: Incinerated.

Item Description: A seemingly normal hourglass. The anomalous behavior lies in the ability of the sand to fall against gravity's pull.

Date of Recovery: █-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████, Virginia

Current Status: Stored until the glass bulb was accidentally broken, allowing the sand to exhibit its anomalous properties and falling upwards where it came to rest on the ceiling. The sand was gathered and released into the atmosphere. The remainder of the hourglass was incinerated.

Item Description: A Risk set that has a variable number of pieces, appearing and disappearing as needed on the board. Sounds of battle are produced by the dice when rolled on hard surfaces rather than the expected clattering.

Date of Recovery: █-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████, Oregon

Current Status: Available in Area 43 break room for recreation.

Item Description: A tape measure that consistently measures the interior of any hollow object to be significantly larger than the exterior.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: Site ██, Analytic Lab █

Current Status: Melted down. Resultant slag shows no anomalous properties.

Item Description: A Salvation Army major's hat which, when worn, causes the wearer to have perfect dental health, with all instances of cavities, breakages, fillings, discolorations, tooth loss, and malocclusion being instantly repaired. The wearer's teeth revert to their unrepaired condition when the hat is removed.

Date of Recovery: █-██-████

Location of Recovery: ██████ Shelter, ████████████, Chiapas, Mexico.

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A piece of vine charcoal that causes "Someone help me! I'm trapped in the charcoal!" to be written every several seconds whenever used for writing or drawing.

Date of Recovery: █-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████████, Scotland

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A white table-tennis ball produced by the DHS company, marked as "Four Star". Note that DHS is only known to manufacture balls up to "Three Star" grade. In addition to showing an unusually efficient bounciness, it launches with extreme velocity when in contact with DHS-made table tennis bat rubber.

Date of Recovery: █-█-████

Location of Recovery: Site-██, Recreation Room

Current Status: Item's anomalous properties were discovered when Agent █████ used it in a friendly match against Researcher ███. Item flew through open skylight, current location unknown.

Item Description: A bottle of bootleg █████ █████████ perfume, which attracts cats in a 1 km radius when used. Discovered after a gathering of over 4,000 cats caused a traffic jam in downtown ███ ███████.

Date of Recovery: █-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███ ███████, ██████████

Current Status: Stored in an airtight container, Low-Value Item Storage, Site-██.

Item Description: An upright piano. If a human touched any of the piano keys, the human became irresistibly compelled to play the piano and sing popular Broadway show tunes, for a period of three hours or until the player was incapacitated. It is to be noted that the item did not provide musical talent, knowledge of tunes, knowledge of lyrics, or the ability to sing on-key.

Date of Recovery: 4-28-200█

Location of Recovery: Recreation center at Foundation Site 33. Piano had been at that site for several years but its unusual properties did not manifest until Incident [DATA EXPUNGED].

Current Status: Disassembled by sledgehammer by a mob of Foundation staff during a "performance"; resulting detritus incinerated. Residual ashes evidenced no unusual properties.

Item Description: A men's Western-style hat which, when worn, causes the wearer to compulsively tell jokes that are racist or otherwise offensive to those within earshot.

Date of Recovery: ██-█-████

Location of Recovery: ███████, Mississippi

Current Status: Incinerated with considerable enthusiasm.

Item Description: A #2 pencil that, when used, causes the writer to unknowingly make spelling errors. Spelling errors can be corrected using the pencil.

Date of Recovery: 6-██-20██

Location of Recovery: Site 19 supply cabinet

Current Status: Destroyed. Materials demonstrated no unusual properties

Note: Are you sure the person who reported this wasn't just really bad at spelling?

Item Description: A plastic 1 gallon jug which causes any liquid placed into it to have a hint of lemon flavor. No anomalous properties have been found in the material of the jug or any liquid placed into it.

Date of Recovery: 12-██-2000

Location of Recovery: Purchased from a Target store by Agent ████████

Current Status: In Site-19 storage

Item Description: A cylindrical iron rod, 77 cm in length and 1.6 cm in diameter. The object is invisible: light of visible wavelength passes through the object without reflecting or refracting.

Date of Recovery: 07-██-2011

Location of Recovery: Xian, China

Current Status: In Site-19 storage. Yellow reflective tape wrapped around both ends of object for safety purposes.

Item Description: A 30g tube of grey face paint that causes subjects to react violently to objects making sounds higher than 55db, provided that the paint covers at least 60% of the face.

Date of Recovery: 08-██-2011

Location of Recovery: Storage locker of noted filmmaker [DATA REDACTED], California

Current Status: Stored in Site-12 Basic Security Storage Vault Stored in Site-18 Locked Security Storage Vault

Note: Ladies and gentlemen, find an alternate way of testing your own personal zombie-elimination theories… unless we can find more of it, that is.

Item Description: A 3.5" floppy diskette with a copy of MegaZipIt (c), an MS-DOS program which compresses any file to half its original size and allows for decompression without data loss.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-198█

Location of Recovery: Computer lab on the campus of ████████-██████ University

Current Status: Diskette was misplaced in 200█. Copy of binary on mainframe at Site ███ exhibits no anomalous properties on operating systems other than MS-DOS.

Note: What the ████? This doesn't even work out mathematically? And why don't we have this standard on all of our computers?

Item Description: A ████ Brand plasma screen television which, when viewed through a window any type of glass or mirror, appears to be blank and powered off.

Date of recovery: 11-24-20██

Location of discovery: █████ Station in ███████, Texas

Current Status: Resides in the Site-34 employee breakroom.

Note: Can we get a new TV here? Those of us with glasses can't watch it…

Item Description: A standard Foundation field machete, repeatedly discovered in various places in the Site-██ grounds half-buried and covered in rust, when it should have been safely in storage.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-2010

Location of Recovery: Purchased from regular equipment suppliers.

Current status: Broke in half due to cumulative rust damage. Fragments melted down, slag shows no anomalous properties.

Item Description: Non-branded tablet computer; date stamps on parts read between 1937 and 1941. Contains serial, parallel, USB and ethernet ports. Operating system is non-standard, reads in an as-yet untranslated language, but interfaces with physical networks and recognizes files from all known OS.

Date of recovery: ██-██-2004

Location of Recovery: █████████ Computer Repairs, ███████, ██, USA

Current status: Undergoing decryption and translation analysis at Site ██

Item Description: A white plastic "halo", which will shine and float when above anybody who has not committed any of the 7 deadly sins. Will glow red when placed above anyone else.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███, ████

Current Status: Melted itself down after being placed above Dr ████ ██████s head.

Item Description: Dollar bills-ranging from $1 to $20-that scream loudly when placed next to foreign currency.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-19██

Location of Recovery: ██████ Bank, ██ ██████, ██

Current Status: shredded in paper shredder; strips showed no anomalous properties.

Item Description: A snow globe containing an 11-second time loop of a snowman murdering a bystander with an axe.

Date of Recovery: 12-25-20██

Location of Recovery: █████ Ski Resort, ██, USA

Current Status: On Research Assistant Goldsheiner's desk, for aesthetic purposes.

Item Description: A ██████-brand bobblehead that, when bobbled, causes the user's head to bobble with it. Can create neck injuries if bobbled too hard.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-19██

Location of recovery: Seattle, Washington

Current Status: On Dr. Roget's office desk In Dr. Roget's office safe.

Item Description: A standard-issue Foundation lab coat. The fabric (identified as a standard cotton/poly blend) requires ██ times the amount of energy/force to burn, tear, or otherwise alter the garment's physical properties. There are existing tears and stains on the coat, and is reported as somewhat softer than normal.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of recovery: Site ██'s laundry room

Current Status: Further experiments are to be begun ██-██-20██, after which the item will be destroyed In Agent Bib's domicile, to be worn only during Researcher duties.

Note: Don't even think about taking it. They told me to grab a lab coat that I'd like, and I liked the soft, ████ed up one. Who the hell cares if it's crazy durable?

Item Description: A book shelf full of Haynes Manuals for various makes of cars which, upon removing a volume, changes to a manual on an apparently random subject without creating a break in the shelf of books. Notable subjects have been "Growing your own Lemurs.", "Force Multipliers.", "Military Grade Railguns." and "The Female Orgasm.". While these manuals follow the typical style and tone of a standard Haynes Manual the subject is, obviously, very different.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████, ████

Current Status: In the possession of Dr. Coleman. Currently some 400 manuals have been removed and are being cataloged by him.

Note:- One manual can be removed every 24 hours. Suggest Dr. Coleman is permanently assigned to cataloging after the events at Site-67. -O5-12.

Item Description: A [REDACTED]-brand graphing calculator. When directed to perform any operations involving exponents, a small graphic resembling SCP-███ is displayed following the completion of the operation. SCP-███ is currently uncontained, and is suspected to have been recovered by the Chaos Insurgency.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: Jiangbei District, Chongqing, China

Current Status: Destroyed. Photographs depicting the anomaly can be found in Storage Site 40.

Item Description: An early 19th century cannon of Russian manufacture. Cannon will prime, load and fire blanks (with no visible source of powder) if the finale of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture is played within audible range of the artillery piece. The timing of the shots is slightly off and inconsistent with the music.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: Napoleonic Wars exhibit, ████████ Museum, ████████.

Current Status: Maintained as a lawn ornament in the staff garden at site 12. Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture added to Site "Blacklist" of restricted materials.

Item Description: A marble bust of Elvis Presley. When any Elvis song is played within earshot, the bust will sing along with the song.

Date of Recovery: █-█-████

Location of Recovery: Memphis, TN

Current Status: In Site ██'s staff lounge.

Item Description: Researcher Adams, after prolonged exposure to SCPs, has gained the ability to mentally 'see' what sexual proclivities anyone he looks at may have. Extensive testing has proven this to be the limit of his alteration. Researcher Adams has stated a dislike for this ability, but so far efforts to remove it from him have proven futile.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: Site 17

Current Status: Adams has been reassigned to solo work, although he is considered 'on call' by the Ethics Comittee.

Item Description: A glass dinner plate, 11 inches across. When organic material is placed on the plate, it begins to secrete digestive enzymes (mainly proteases and cellulases) which produce foul-tasting waste products and an unpleasant appearance in food.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: Site 19 cafeteria, discovered by Junior Researcher ███████, who initially believed the kitchen staff were attempting to poison him.

Current Status: Currently under investigation by Dr. █████.

Item Description: A white coffee mug that, at 3:00 AM local time, will replace all fruit juices in its interior with grapefruit juice.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: ███████, Minnesota

Current Status: In the possession of Research Assistant Jacobs.

Note: Effect has consistently failed to manifest after RA Jacobs filled the item with grapefruit juice nineteen days after recovery. Item no longer classified as anomalous.

Item Description: A pair of cordless headphones that constantly play songs by The Beatles despite the lack of a music or energy source.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████ concert, California, United States

Current Status: Destroyed by Research Assistant Goldscheiner, who cited it as "ruining America's youth." Pieces showed no anomalous properties.

Item Description: An irregularly shaped piece of limestone approximately 3 kilograms in mass. When prompted for an opinion on the item, all subjects will describe it as irritating, ugly, or pointless. No negative reaction has been noted in subjects who aren't asked about the item.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: St. Augustine, Florida

Current Status: Broken into nine pieces via sledgehammer. Pieces showed no anomalous properties and were discarded.

Item Description: A ballpoint pen. Decimal points in numbers written with the pen will periodically move for the next 314 days.

Date of Recovery: 11-03-20██

Location of Recovery: Accounting department at Site-11.

Current Status: Stored in Low-Value Item Wing of Storage Site-23.

Item Description: A computer file with the name "~DFFF1C.tmp". The file has a negative filesize of -2 bytes; its presence on a storage medium increases the space available. Copies of the file retain this property, but editing the file changes its size to 0 bytes.

Date of Recovery: 05-21-20██

Location of Recovery: Dr. ████'s home computer

Current Status: Stored in Dr. ████'s computer, with several backups on portable media.

Item Description: A flight of 18 stairs. It is possible to fall up the stairs in defiance of gravity by losing one's footing while climbing up. No spatial or architectural abnormalities have been detected.

Date of Recovery: 01/22/2010

Location of Recovery: Port-Au-Prince, Haiti

Current Status: Transported in its entirety to nearby Site 89, where it remains in storage.

Notes: Stairs were undamaged by the earthquake ten days prior, in contrast with the house it occupied.

Item Description: A 53-year-old male of Indian descent with unremarkable genetics and history. Subject's body hair will autonomously restrain and systematically dismember any insect or arachnid that it comes in contact with.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of Recovery: █████████, India

Current Status: All body hair and follicles surgically removed. Subject dosed with amnesiacs and released back into general population.

Item Description: A small figurine of a clown that emits sobbing noises when within 10 ft of a circus or depiction of a circus.

Date of Recovery:██/█/20██

Location of Recovery: ████████, Connecticut

Current Status: In Dr. █████'s possession.

Item Description: A three-sided die: no matter how it is observed, subjects will report that it definitely has three sides, despite this being physically impossible.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: A tabletop gaming convention in [REDACTED].

Current Status: Sliced in half, yielded two one-sided dice.

Item Description: An adjustable-height stainless steel floor fan of unknown make and manufacture. The fan will only function when exposed to music written by an artist or artists that no persons within hearing range have knowledge of.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/1997

Location of Recovery: Jacksonville, Florida

Current Status: Melted. The remains showed no anomalous properties and have been discarded.

Item Description: A small green desk lamp that produces red lasers of an energy of roughly 300 mW in multiple directions despite having any standard 60-watt incandescent light bulb.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-2004

Location of Recovery: [REDACTED] Department Store in Utah.

Current Status: Melted. Both the bulb and lamp debris displayed no anomalous properties.

Item Description: A pound cake that emits the sound of a young girl laughing when being cut.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/2012

Location of Recovery: █████'s Bakery Shop in Wyoming

Current Status: Kept in cold storage at Site-17

Item Description: A 2.5m x 1m mirror which when viewed shows the last person to be reflected in it, instead of the person currently viewing it. Aside from showing the observer as the last person to view it, it functions identically to a normal mirror.

Date of Recovery:█/██/2012

Location of Recovery: ██████ House of Mirrors, New Jersey

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A regular 2.5" x 2.5" tea bag containing approximately 2.3 grams of dry, crushed leaves derived from the Assam tea bush. Regardless of how many times the tea bag is used, or how long it remains steeped at a temperature between 90-105°, it remains able to release the exact same quantity of antioxidants, polyphenols and catechins, for a given volume of water.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of Recovery: ████████, █████, United Kingdom

Current Status: In Dr. ███████'s possession.

Item Description: A slate sculpture of a human hand and a section of forearm, standing approximately 0.5m tall and weighing 50kg. The object's orientation cannot be changed and acts as a perfect compass - the thumb always points due magnetic north.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/2012

Location of Recovery: Raid on a Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd. warehouse in London, UK.

Current Status: Staff gardens at Sector-25.

Note: Accompanying recovered documentation indicates that MC&D was having difficulty finding a buyer for the object.

Item Description: A 235-kg █████ █████-brand moped. When traveling at speeds in excess of 30 km/h, it displays inertial qualities consistent with an object of significantly higher mass, generally between 350 and 600 kg, depending on speed.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-1999

Location of Recovery: ████████, Germany

Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A large whiteboard. Should a subject write a problem on the white board, it will immediately begin to form a chart organizing the information pertinent to that problem. The object will then form connections between the information and attempt to come up with a solution. However, it will also write comments regarding the subject's intellect and physical appearance. These are almost always derogatory.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: █████████, Texas

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A generic type C electric plug branded "220V" with an attached black cord 140 cm long. When connected to a power source, humming can be heard from a point approximately 50 cm from the cord's end. Emits very weak infrared radiation when powered.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Abandoned warehouse in ███████ village, Leningrad oblast.

Current Status: In study in a designated lab at Site ██.

Notes: There simply must be something! Dr. Uliansky

Item Description: An M-75 brick that can cling to uneven surfaces at any angle, no matter how small the contact point. Microscopic study revealed that the brick's surface is covered with microscopic setae similar to those found on gecko footpads. Anomalous properties weaken in high temperatures.

Date of Recovery: ██/█/████

Location of Recovery: [REDACTED] rural area near Moscow.

Current Status: In storage on Site 43, request for use pending.

Item Description: An incomplete skeleton of a frog that, upon coming into contact with any natural rubber or liquid alcohol, immediately decomposes or denatures any amount of only that substance within a 11.8 cm radius.

Date of Recovery: █/██/████

Location of Recovery: Molyobka triangle near Perm

Current Status: Incinerated

Item Description: A Nokia 1208 cell phone with exactly 2 bars of reception at all times, regardless of location, situation, or condition of the phone. Other functions do not differ from normal cell phones.

Date of Recovery: ██/█/████

Location of Recovery: ████████ village, Astrakhan district, found in possession of [DATA REDACTED]

Current Status: Claimed by Agent V████████.

Notes: This thing is useful as hell! Though the reception could be better. - Agent V████████.

Item Description: A purple stress ball that when squeezed causes the person to become contemplative about their recent successes and failures in life.

Date of Recovery: █/██/████

Location of Recovery: In the office drawer of a psychiatrist by the name of Dr. P████ Laymond.

Current Status: Torn to shreds by Dr. Diamond’s pet corgi. Reconstruction is under consideration.

Notes: Is this thing even necessary? Why did we even take it in the first place? Why did Rachel dump me last night? WHY??? – Agent R████████

Item Description: A Basset Hound capable of limited human-like speech - only vocalization is the word "dude", in various accents and tones of voice.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: ████, California

Current Status: Held in Site 33 kennels.

Item Description: An unbranded plastic spoon able to multiply the travel speed of any food item flung from it - machine testing has proven the multiplier is roughly 4.3.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: ███████, Texas. Found in the possession of one adolescent J████ H██████ after reports of unusual injuries sustained during food fights in W████████ Elementary School. Item was confiscated without incident; amnestics administered where necessary, rumors faded naturally within one month after recovery.

Current Status: Held in a standard Low-Hazard Anomalous Objects locker in Site-██.

Item Description: A glass catseye marble with blue-green wave. Contact with it results in an invisible spherical (0.7 m in diameter) barrier surrounding the person touching it, for as long as the person remains in contact with it. This barrier only blocks living, foreign biological tissue and is fully permeable to non-living material.

Date of Recovery: 03/07/2001

Location of Recovery: ████ ██████, France.

Current Status: Fell down a storm drain following an earthquake at Site 37.

Item Description: A skee-ball arcade game dating to the late 1930s. Whenever 850 or more points are scored in a single frame, the ticket dispenser releases that number of live cockroaches.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/1943

Location of Recovery: ████████ & Sons Games, Coney Island, New York

Current Status: In containment.

Item Description: A key that can unlock the door to any empty, unmonitored room, but with the side effect of a skeleton of a random small mammal appearing inside the room and falling out the door as it is opened.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/2006

Location of Recovery: ███████, London

Current Status: In containment.

Item Description: A treadmill that will suddenly increase the speed to the maximum (15km/h) whenever stopped before the pre-programmed session is over. Unplugging the machine gave the same result.

Date of Recovery: ██/█/2012

Location of Recovery: ██████████████ Health Center, Seoul, Korea

Current Status: On ██/██/2012 subject was found to be broken, and it was revealed that many agents used it for exercise since its containment. After the repair subject did not show its anomalous property anymore, and thus relocated to Foundation health center.

Item Description: A Kodak Disposable Camera. When photographs are taken, all organisms in-frame will appear to be in various states of shock, regardless of their position when the photograph was taken.

Date of Recovery: 09/18/2012

Location of Recovery: ██████ World Amusement Park, Orlando, FL, USA

Current Status: Item ran out of film during testing, was incinerated when it showed no further anomalous properties.

Item Description: A generic baseball cap that can only be worn 'properly'. Any attempts to wear it sideways or backwards cause it to forcibly remove itself from the wearer's head.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ███ ████, New York

Current Status: Incinerated. Remains showed no anomalous effects.

Item Description: A bottle of ████ ███████ brand whiskey that refills itself when not observed.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-2012

Location of Recovery: ██████ ██████, a bar in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil.

Current Status: Stored in the Foundation's refectory.

Item Description: A single copy of the book The Principles of Knitting. When the chapter detailing various problems encountered while knitting is read, the user experiences these problems the next time they attempt to knit. Problems extend to types of knitting not otherwise possible in three dimensions, leading to widespread tangling.

Date of Recovery: ██-█-2012

Location of Recovery: Baltimore, MD, USA

Current Status: Incinerated. Remains exhibited no anomalous properties.

Item Description: A shipment of 350 prepackaged loaves of sliced potato bread consisting only of end slices. Viewing the bread causes disorientation and vestibular dysfunction.

Date of Recovery: ██-█-2010

Location of Recovery: Salt Lake City, UT, USA

Current Status: Shredded. Shreds only caused slight ringing in ears in 11% of test subjects. Added to Site 19 food stores.

Item Description: A ████ brand cassette tape drive. Makes any computer to which it is connected into a TRS-80 emulator. Tape drive itself functions normally.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ████████, ████

Current Status: In Storage Locker ███ at Site ███.

Notes: Was originally kept in the Rec Room at Site ████, but had to be removed after a heated fight between personnel during a Space Warp tournament.

Item Description: A black stone statue of a specimen of Bos taurus measuring 5 cm in height. Causes any liquid within a 10 meter radius to become pasteurized whole milk. When removed from the item's area of effect, liquids return to normal. Affected liquids also include human bodily fluids such as blood and saliva. Effect on human body does not appear to be deleterious.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-2009

Location of Recovery: ███████, Wisconsin

Current Status: In storage.

Notes: It certainly was interesting to bleed milk today. -Agent ██████

Item Description: A VHS recording of the 1992 vice-presidential debates. Vice President Dan Quayle appears to have been replaced with a brown quail (Coturnix ypsilophora), which displays normal avian behavior on the recording. Behavior of the other subjects on the tape is unaltered. Forensic video analysis has not revealed any evidence of editing.

Date of Recovery: 11-17-2012

Location of Recovery: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Current Status: In Dr. Q█████'s office.

Item Description: Thirty-one chili verde. All tested subjects have been unable to describe or comprehend the quantity of chili in question except by using only numbers. It has not been observed to expire or otherwise decline in quality despite remaining in containment for several months.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: ████████ Soup Kitchen, San Diego.

Current Status: Located in Site 30's cafeteria.

Notes: We expect to be down to about thirty and a half chili by the end of the quarter if people don't get sick of it.- Research Assistant Kramer.

Item Description: An aluminum can. Whenever it was placed in a room, the sound of dripping water could be heard.

Date of Recovery: 01/13/1929

Location of Recovery: Grocery store in ████████.

Current Status: Missing, presumed lost.

Item Description: A partially dismantled 1993 Chevrolet Camaro. Parts appear mostly new, but whenever the vehicle is fully reassembled, roughly 80% of its parts spontaneously detach from each other with minor application of percussive force.

Date of Recovery: 07/22/1995

Location of Recovery: Dr. Gerald's garage.

Current Status: In storage to avoid contamination.

Item Description: A gyroscope which, when spun, has the ability to phase through any solid matter. Any liquid it comes in contact with will remove its phasing ability until the object is spun again.

Date of recovery: 19-08-20██

Location of Recovery: Found phasing through apartment buildings in █████████, ███████. All witnesses were administered class B amnesiacs.

Current Status: Submerged in a vat of water, located within Sector-██.

Item Description: A standard half-diamond lockpick. Whenever a conscious human being hides the object on their person, it will seem to disappear completely, proving undetectable to any method of searching. Subjects report that the object is merely concealed, and are always able to produce it from any suitable hiding spot in their person, even if originally hidden in a different or now-irretrievable place.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ███████ Police Department, CA, USA.

Current Status: Reported stolen, likely using the item's anomalous properties. Junior researcher in charge severely reprimanded.

Notes: Object appears to have been part of a set of lock picks, nearly all modern locks prove impossible to pick without a matching tension wrench.

Item Description: A █████-brand digital camera, which took pictures normally, but inserted a random organism within a █-km radius somewhere into the background of the picture.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: █████, TX, USA.

Current Status: Incinerated after a photo of SCP-096 was taken, resulting in [DATA REDACTED]. Subject was contained after █ hours and █ casualties.

[EXPLETIVE REDACTED], be more careful next time. -Security Director ████████ ██████████████

Item Description: A yellow "rubber ducky" bath toy. When a subject explains in detail a practical problem to the item as though it were a living anthropomorphic duck, they will feel that they have a better understanding of said problem, and are often immediately able to come up with a solution.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/199█

Location of Recovery: ███ ████, CA, USA.

Current Status: In display at Site-17's Office Block, for use by all personnel.

Item Description: An empty, opaque cardboard doughnut box. Opening the box releases a beam of blue light, which kills 95% of exposed bacterial organisms.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/1986

Location of Recovery: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A Swan Goose (Anser cygnoides) which extinguishes fires around it in a radius of 32.444 meters. Effect expands to 101 meters on the night of the first quarter moon.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Altai, Mongolia

Current Status: In animal containment.

Item Description: A hard cover book, that when read makes everything a person touches feel like a certain designated texture, depending on the page read.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Cartersville, Georgia

Current Status: In the desk of Dr. Raye.

I like the fluffy kitten page. - Dr. Raye

Item Description: A maple tree, the leaves of which always fall to form intricate spiral designs. Leaves are unaffected by wind during and after descent.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/██91

Location of Recovery: Sacramento, California, USA

Current Status: Stored in a fenced enclosure directly outside of Site-59.

Notes: Site-59 personnel have been reported to make bets on the designs produced by the item; no disciplinary action for this behavior is planned at this time, unless Randell neglects to cough up the $50 that he owes me. - Dr. Anborough

Item Description: Seventeen twelve-piece packs of Bazooka bubble gum. Subjects who chew the bubble gum experience severe fatigue until the gum loses its flavor. Additionally, subjects report a minor compulsion to continue to consume the bubble gum until the pack is depleted.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: New York City, New York, USA

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: One lemon wedge, which, upon being introduced to any type of liquid, converts the liquid into sweet iced tea.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/██04

Location of Recovery: Spartanburg, South Carolina, USA.

Current Status: Available for use in the Site 19 cafeteria.

Item Description: Ten (10) glass sculptures of Queen Angelfish (Holacanthus ciliaris) that animate when placed in water. Sculptures require all the needs of a regular fish, except oxygen.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: ██████, Ireland

Current Status: Kept in the aquarium in the 2nd floor break room at Site-17.

Item Description: A Bunsen burner that requires no methane. The burner can be ignited by placing an unlit wooden splint over it, and extinguished by placing a lit wooden splint over it.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: A██████, England

Current Status: Used in Research Lab-18 at Reliquary Research and Containment Site-76.

Item Description: A china statuette of British cartoon characters Wallace and Gromit that, upon observation, causes the observer to have a mild craving for cheese.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Recovered with SCP-████ in a raid on a Marshall, Carter and Dark auction.

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A set of chess pieces carved from white and pink marble. When used to play a game (rather than normal handling), the pieces transform into humanoid figures in the shapes of individuals important to the players. The king's knight is always in the shape of the player, regardless of gender.

Date of Recovery: 04/26/19██

Location of Recovery: Found abandoned on a public chessboard in Central Park, New York City, NY, USA.

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: 32 printed copies of John Cage's 4'33''. When performed by any number of musicians, the sound of a euphonium practicing various atonal music pieces can be heard softly emanating from each copy.''

Date of Recovery: █/██/20██

Location of Recovery: Band room of ████████ High School, located in Oahu, HI.

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: Large plastic case containing, when full, 4,800 sheets of computer printer paper, which causes the text of any document printed on it to be rendered in ███████████ font. Case will refill itself every Thursday at 16:13 UTC if lid is closed at least six minutes beforehand.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: A ███████ office supply store in Marshall, MI.

Current Status: In use by the technical staff of Site ██.

Notes: If the effect applies to the text in printed images as well, this could be useful in understanding previously indecipherable writings. It doesn't. —Dr. Kerry

Item Description: A replica of a human skull made out of gelatin. Item has not been shown to decay as per standard gelatin. Item plays music every October 31st. All music has been confirmed to be identical to that played by the band ███ ███████ ████ at their annual concert at the ████████ ████ Zoo.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/██11

Location of Recovery: ████████ ████ Zoo Amphitheater.

Current Status: On the desk of Doctor ███████.

Notes: I would feel a little bad about this, but the concert is free anyway. -Doctor ███████.

Item Description: A live female domestic rabbit, brown in coloring. It is was difficult to observe while remaining still, personnel reported that their "eyes slide right off it. " Is Was a normal rabbit in all other aspects.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/██87

Location of Recovery: Greensboro, North Carolina.

Current Status: In the possession of Researcher ██████. Dead, COD determined to be natural causes. All anomalous properties ceased upon death. Remains buried in the backyard of Researcher ██████ ██/██/██06.

Item Description: A carved obsidian statue of a human male, approximately 6 cm in height. The human figure is an male of Mesoamerican descent and indeterminate age, dressed in a feathered costume similar to those described in the Codex Mendoza and exhibiting physical signs of starvation. The statute occasionally speaks in the Classical Nahuatl language, these utterances consisting of vague threats of a meteorological nature and demands for human sacrifice. The object exhibits no psychological or mind-control properties.

Date of Recovery: █/██/1526

Location of Recovery: Site of Mexico City Metropolitan Cathedral, Mexico City, DF

Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A STANAG rifle magazine that fits into all STANAG-Compatible rifles, and never runs out of bullets.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of Recovery: USMC Base Quantico, Virginia, USA

Current Status: In the Site-██ Armory, with metallic tape notifying users of its anomalous properties.

Aitem Deskripshun: A dikshunnarree that alturs ennee tekst deskraibing it to rezembul the langwej's fonetik form, tho nawt in ennee rekognaizd format.

Dayt uv Rekuvurree: ██/██/20██

Lokayshun uv Rekuvurree: Shikago, Illinoy, Yoo-Es-Ay

Kurrent Status: In a standurd kontaynment lokkur at Sait-59.

Item Description: An aluminium box painted forest green, visually appearing to be 40cm to an edge with no openings. Its tangible mass is twice the scale of its visual appearance — that is, it feels twice as big as it looks, and interacts with other matter using physical boundaries twice the size of its visual boundaries. Occasionally emits murine noises.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ████████, WA, United States

Current Status: On fire and unable to be extinguished. Stored in a vacuum chamber at Site-17.

Item Description: A bronze statue of a mermaid. Causes kleptomaniacal compulsions in mammalian subjects continually exposed to it.

Date of Recovery: 6/30/1967

Location of Recovery: ████████, ██

Current Status: Replaced with a replica. Original in storage.

Item Description: The word [REDACTED], a 9-letter imaginary word which is defined as "the opposite of a sieve." The definition is known as soon as the word is read or heard. Only one written instance of the word exists at any given time; the previous instance is erased when the new instance is written, although the word transfers at roughly 1808km/s. The word reportedly feels natural and fluid to pronounce, and so may potentially be easy for unknown independent parties to create and write down. It is otherwise mundane.

Date of Recovery: ██/█/20██

Location of Recovery: Word Generation And Verification Subroutines, Site-18 Data Banks

Current Status: Written on a piece of paper stored at Site-19. In the event that an unknown independent party writes the word, one of several researchers will be on call to write the word down again.

Item Description: A tiara constructed from living specimens of mushroom and other noninvasive fungus. Placing the tiara on a human subject's head causes the subject to become gyroscopically stabilized from the waist up. No matter the effort, the subject will become unable to move their body from the waist up out of a perfectly vertical position.

Date of Recovery: ██/█/1919

Location of Recovery: Copenhagen, Denmark

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A traditional Brazilian berimbau of typical construction and materials. When held by a human subject, and the stick is raised to strike the string, the subject immediately displays an instinctive knowledge of how to play basic traditional rhythms. Further exposure does not seem to result in further knowledge gain, but the resultant basic knowledge remains with the subject after exposure.

Date of Recovery: ██/█/20██

Location of Recovery: Salto, Brazil

Current Status: In storage.

Note: Until it is determined conclusively that the item has no cognitohazardous capabilities, handling and testing is restricted to D-Class subjects.

Item Description: A 129-character string. Entering it on the password field of an online service will allow log-in no matter what the original password was; only known exception is the word "password".

Date of Recovery: ██/██/201█

Location of Recovery: Lagos, Nigeria

Current Status: Archived. Research on encryption and network structures resistant to effect underway.

Item Description: A blue stress ball. When squeezed, holder becomes infuriated, and when thrown, will bounce back and hit the thrower's head.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/19██

Location of Recovery: ████ Psychiatrics, ████

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A yellow ███████-brand antistatic wrist strap, stamped with the phrase "If it ain't broke, it ain't worth my time!". When worn, strap causes transistor-based devices operated by the user to perform at around 500% of original efficiency for a period of 1 hour. Devices lose all anomalous properties after this period has elapsed, unless still in use by the wearer.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ██'s Tech Bazaar, █████████, Greater London

Current Status: Located in Equipment Storage Locker 2, Tech Services Office, Site-11.

Item Description: A standard ███████ brand deck of cards that, when used to play any card game, appear 'backwards', showing all other players the card's face, while only showing the card's holder the back of said card.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ███ █████, Nevada, United States.

Current Status: In storage at Site ██ Recreation Lounge.

Item Description: A blue hand-less wall clock, brand unknown. When observed by a human being, he/she will always know the exact time, despite the clock's lack of hands. Testing at different time zones gave the same results.

Date of Recovery: 05/30/2013

Location of Recovery: Aosta Valley, Italy.

Current Status: In storage at Reliquary Research and Containment Site-76.

Item Description: A generic desk lamp, attached to a 1.5m cord. Affixed to the cord is a switch labelled "Light Switch" in marker pen. When turned on, the lamp does not emit light, but instead rises gently into the air until the cord is stretched. When turned off, the lamp resumes its normal weight.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: Richmond, VA, United States.

Current Status: Neutralized.

Notes: On resuming its normal weight, the lamp fell to the ground and broke. The "Light Switch" has been attached to other objects but does not demonstrate abnormal properties.

Item Description: White pillow that maintains a constant cool temperature. Subjects exhibit the increased desire for sleep when in use. Testing with other pillows of the same brand have proven inconclusive. Attempts to heat the pillow have proven ineffective.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Reykjavik, Iceland.

Current Status: Located within Bright's private bedroom quarters at Command-██.

Item Description: A credit card of an unknown black material. Purchases made with the card via magnetic stripe readers are retroactively debited from Banco de Mexico's account number ██████.██, in October of 1993.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: Secret chamber in the Great Pyramid of Giza, Cairo, Egypt

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A GI Joe brand toy doll resembling SCP-076-2 and advertised as "Abel: The Ultimate Warrior". The doll is inanimate and has no other anomalous properties.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: A █.█. ██████ department store in [REDACTED], Iowa

Current Status: Given as a toy to Dr. ████████'s grandson.

Item Description: A red 1994 Toyota Camry whose radio could only play Men Without Hats' "Safety Dance" regardless of station, whether a cassette tape had been inserted, and even after the radio itself had been replaced 3 times.

Date of Recovery: ██/█/200█

Location of Recovery: Atlanta, Georgia

Current Status: Crushed and melted down. Residual slag showed no anomalous properties.

Item Description: One computer keyboard. Buttons upon the keyboard cannot be pressed or removed. Repeated testing shows all buttons remain intact following automated heavy compression. Internal analysis reveals no adhesive materials or anomalous properties. Attempted use when connected to computers have failed.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Tokyo, Japan.

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A white bagel slicer. Bagels or parts of bagels sliced with the item retain the structural integrity and rigidity of the original bagel. This continues across repeated use on one bagel — viable slices as thin as 0.2mm have been constructed. Reconstruction of the original bagel from multiple slices will not result in an unusually strong bagel.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Dublin, Ireland

Current Status: In Site 31's cafeteria.

Item Description: A high-tech typewriter that produces a memetic effect on every person trying to formulate a description for said object. Despite being a typewriter, it is always described as a typewriter, with various properties, containment places and such are replaced with analogous typewriter-related properties. The verb "to shoot" and its cognates are not affected, which is a property of the object as well. Attempts to photograph the object are hindered by mental influence, and any attempts to draw or paint the object result in a drawing of a typewriter.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: An abandoned printing device research base that belonged to a group of interest called [REDACTED]. It should be noted that [DATA EXPUNGED].

Current Status: In storage in Site ███ printing devices room. An effort to produce copies of the typewriter is underway.

Note: This typewriter is great! Easy to shoot, very accurate, good shooting distance, lightweight, supports different key sets and has a 60 cartridge tray. The typing mechanism is detachable, .45ACP and 5.56 versions are available. Most likely, the anomalous effect was developed in order to hinder intelligence efforts. - Agent Cora.

Item Description: A Playstation 3 video game console. When a game is inserted and played, it is modified to become either impossible or extremely difficult to play.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Osaka, Japan

Current Status: In Site-45 Recreation Room

Item Description: A white 5cm (6d) finishing nail. Does not bend or dull. Impaling it into an object stabilizes the object against all forms of resonant vibration, holding it in place as it was when the nail was inserted. Smooth, constant acceleration of the object is still possible.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: San Francisco Bay Area

Current Status: In use to protect SCP-████ from seismic damage.

Item Description: A wooden toy rifle designed to shoot rubber bands using a gear. Rubber bands accelerate to 1/540 the speed of light upon leaving the barrel of the rifle.

Date of Recovery: 10/15/2010

Location of Recovery: Mount Vernon, Virginia

Current Status: In anomalous weapons containment.

Item Description: A red, yellow, and blue plastic pinwheel toy that always appears to be the size of the holder's palm, and is otherwise non-anomalous.

Date of Recovery: 12/18/2010

Location of Recovery: Denver, Colorado

Current Status: In Site-12's Recreation Room.

Item Description: A 2L container of a liquid substance, which has tested to reveal the contents of freshly squeezed orange juice with pulp, but when consumed is reported to not taste fresh.

Date of Recovery: 02/02/1992

Location of Recovery: Montreal, Canada

Current Status: Consumed by Agent ██████ on a triple dog dare.

Item Description: A kitchen sink that, when a liquid is poured into, produces the sound of the liquid moving through its pipes until there is nobody within earshot.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/1973

Location of Recovery: The kitchen of ████ ██████

Current Status: Currently in the home of Dr. ████ ████████

What? It helps me sleep. - Dr. ████

Item Description: A computer that cannot connect to any network when networking is enabled, but can attain a connection to the internet of exactly 161.24 kbps anywhere, regardless of the speed of light and other physical limitations.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/2011

Location of Recovery: ██████, Portugal

Current Status: Currently used to maintain communications with ████████.

Item Description: A 30cm metal robot toy that can work without an energy source. If direct eye-contact is done, muscle mass of the subject changes into metal.

Date of Recovery: 06/22/2001

Location of Recovery: S██ J███, Costa Rica

Current Status: In Storage Sector-██

Item Description: Glass fragments of a statue, originally composing a Non-Euclidian Structure.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-2013

Location of Recovery: ████, ███████

Current Status: In storage

Note: It was broken when I found it. — Agent Green

Item Description: A lawnmower that turns grass into artificial turf.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of recovery: █████ Garden Center, ██████, ██

Current Status: In use by Dr. ██████.

Item Description: A drawing of a dog that, when viewed by an illiterate, teaches them how to read and write Latvian.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of recovery: ██████████, ██

Current Status: In Level 1 Document Storage at Site-██.

Item Description: A Christmas tree that is impossible to disassemble

Date of Recovery: 25/12/2013

Location of Recovery: Original location unknown, secondary location is near the entrance tunnel to Site-14.

Current Status: In Site-14 break room as a decoration for Christmas.

Item Description: A white porcelain sculpture of a human right ear, 10 cm in length. When held by a human subject, the subject's auditory abilities decrease by 90%.

Date of Recovery: 21/10/2011

Location of Recovery: London, United Kingdom, after a raid on a Marshall, Carter & Dark Ltd. facility.

Current Status: Destroyed when dropped by D-18299 during testing. Remains display similar anomalous properties, but decrease auditory abilities by only 2%. In storage at Sector-25.

Item Description: One coaster. When placed on any horizontal surface, it leaves a circular water stain 6.3 cm in diameter. Stains left by this object have proven to be extremely difficult to remove.

Date of Recovery: 09/18/1995

Location of Recovery: ██████ ████████ Brewery, Gatlinburg, TN

Current Status: Destroyed under unknown circumstances.

Item Description: A blue and white port-a potty. Item was manufactured by █████ Management Inc. Item is to be used for its intended purpose at least once every twelve hour cycle from its last time of use. If item does not receive use once every twelve hour cycle, molten magma will flow from item at a rate of ten gallons per hour for the next twelve hours resulting in normal damage to anything in the vicinity. Magma will cool and harden naturally.

Date of Recovery: 07/08/2009

Location of Recovery: ███████ Fairgrounds, ██████ Alabama.

Current Status: Located outside the Site 15 guardhouse.

Item Description: A sprig of mistletoe that, when suspended at least 2 m. above ground level, caused a strong compulsion in subjects standing underneath it to embrace and engage in romantic activity.

Date of Recovery: 12/23/11

Location of Recovery: The █████████ ████ Shops, Foxboro, MA

Current Status: In possession of Doctor Bright Destroyed by Doctor Rights.

Notes: Absolutely not!-Doctor Rights

Item Description: A turkey-shaped foam rubber stress reliever. Caused a temporary but morbid obsession with turkeys to human subjects maintaining direct eye-contact with it for more than 10 seconds.

Date of Recovery: 2010/██/██

Location of Recovery: ██████ ██████ Hospital, █████████, PA

Current Status: Eaten by D-12955 after a ██ hours exposure. D-12955 expired 45 minutes later. Remains retrieved from D-12955's body and incinerated.

Item Description: A kaleidoscope. Despite the triangular arrangement of the mirrors, looking into the kaleidoscope displays a panoply of triangles, squares and pentagons, covering the plane of vision with an aperiodical tiling.

Date of Recovery: ██/12/2013

Location of Recovery: Hamleys toy store, Central London, England

Current Status: Assigned to Spatial Distortions research group.

Item Description: A Mark XIX (19) Israel Military Industries Desert Eagle on 50. Action Express with Picatinny rail. When held, it would display an ammo counter in the bottom right corner of the wielder's peripheral vision, and, when fired, would display a point value based on the target hit, in base 5 numeration.

Date of Recovery ██/██/██

Location of Recovery: ███████, Florida, U.S.A.

Current Status: Stored in Site-19 Low value storage unit.

Notes: It sounds cool, but the ammo counter is hard to focus on, which distracts you when you're trying to fire it, and it's nearly useless since you can barely make out the numbers. The scoring system has to be worked out on paper, and there's no easy way of recording the numbers when you have to decode your score every time you shoot. Keep this thing far away from the usable weapons. -Agent Harrelson

Item Description: A male adult zebra (Equus quagga). If fed carrots, would sing the song Rocket man by Elton John in a heavy Swahili accent.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/██

Location of Recovery: ███████ Zoo, Scottsdale, AR

Current Status: Accidentally came in contact with SCP-███ during a breach. Currently theorized to be in the 12th century.

Item Description: An electronic beard shaver that can cut through anything.

Date of Recovery: 07/12/████

Location of Recovery: Norwich, England, UK

Current Status: In a bin at Site-██.

Note: Became completely useless after it ran out of battery on the 04/12/2013. The charge cable was lost 4 days prior.

Item Description: A wireless printer of an unknown brand. The printer prints random pictures with sexual content in place of what it was supposed to print.

Date of Recovery: 06/03/████

Location of Recovery: In an office building located in ██████, Georgia

Current Status: Destroyed by the order of O5-█

Note: This is getting out of hand. I have enough of Foundation personnel using this printer for other purposes besides just for researching. -O5-█

Item Description: A work of fanfiction titled "████████████████████ ███████ ████████████", based on the anime "████████ ████ ████████". Any subject who reads it will be convinced that the story is part of the series "canon", though this belief wears off over time.

Date of Recovery: 12/23/████

Location of Recovery: The fanfiction hosting service Fanfiction.Net.

Current Status: Removed from fanfiction.net, as well as various mirrors on pastebin and similar sites. The author's IP address was tracked to public computer in ███████, India, but the author's current whereabouts are unknown.

Item Description: A compact disc of the album Iowa by the band Slipknot. When played, the vocals are heard in the voice of the listener's least favorite vocalist, though the instruments remain unchanged. If multiple people are listening, each hears a different vocalist.

Date of Recovery: 5/17/20██

Location of Recovery: Room 3██ in the ████████ building of the University of California: ████████ dormitories.

Current Status: Destroyed by Agent ████.

Note: Fuck this CD. -Agent ████

Item Description: A pack of ███████ brand chewing gum containing six (6) pieces of chewed gum. When chewed, they will revert to "unchewed" form. Re-chewed pieces do not possess this property.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of recovery: ████ ██████, Canada

Current Status: In storage in Site-██.

How did we figure out it did that?- Dr. ██████

Item Description: A ████ brand DVD player. When a DVD is inserted and played, only the person who inserted the DVD will be capable of hearing the audio. The picture is visible to everybody

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of recovery: ████ ████, Dalian

Current Status: Used by Dr ████ ██████ for [DATA EXPUNGED]

Item Description: A ████████-brand vinyl record player. It detects the record's speed automatically and plays it perfectly, with a deep and clear sound, regardless of how much the record was damaged.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of recovery: ████████, Italy

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: A mirror, two meters tall by one meter wide. All humans reflected in the mirror will be shown as an unidentified white man, with light brown hair, and wearing a gray suit and blue tie former American president George W. Bush, as he appeared in his address to the nation on September 11, 2001.

Date of Recovery: September 11, 1979.

Location of recovery: [REDACTED] clothing shop, Ougadougou, Republic of Upper Volta Burkina Faso

Current Status: In storage.

Item Description: 16 (sixteen) homemade tallow candles that never burn out or melt. They generate no heat or smoke, and consume no oxygen.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: ██████, Texas, U.S.A.

Current Status: In Dr. ██████'s office.

Item Description: A tambourine that, when shaken, produces the sounds of a guitar. Staff claim to greatly enjoy it.

Date of recovery: ██/█/████

Location of Recovery: ██████, England

Current Status: Held in the Site-19 break room.

Item Description: A headband with a star burst insignia in the center. When worn on any part of the body, time appears to slow by a factor of 50%.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/1999

Location of recovery: █████ ██████ clothing shop, ██████, Russia

Current Status: Held in the Site-██ Armory.

Item Description: A glass eye that will restore sight if placed over an orbital implant.

Date of Recovery: █/██/████

Location of Recovery: █████, Iran

Current Status: In storage

Item Description: A pair of baby blue boxing gloves. If the boxing gloves are used to punch an infant in the jaw, the newborn will grow all of its adult teeth within the following 24 hours.

Date of Recovery: 08/10/20██

Location Recovery: Glasgow, Scotland

Current Status: Unknown. Last seen being delivered to the office of Dr. Bright.

Item Description: A glass jar. When an item is placed inside of the jar and the lid is closed, it seems to disappear. When the lid is opened, the item reappears.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location Recovery: ███████, ███████

Current Status: Smashed after being dropped. Fragments currently in storage, showing no anomalous properties.

Item Description: A paper plate. Any item placed on it instantly becomes edible, and starts tasting like chocolate cake.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location Recovery: ███████, ███████

Current Status: In use in the canteen in Site-██.

Item Description: A Roman mosaic assembled in the 4th century CE depicting a creature resembling a Stegosaurus. Outside its anachronism, it is not otherwise anomalous.

Date of Recovery: ████/██/██

Location of Recovery: Villa Romana del Casale, Sicily, Italy.

Current Stats: In display at Site-77's Historical Anomalies Wing.

Item Description: A wooden Pan flute. When played, an unidentified male voice will tell music-related puns in the player's first language.

Date of Recovery: 1991/██/██

Location of Recovery: ████ Music Shop, Salonica, Greece.

Current Status: Incinerated.

Item Description: A red ███████ brand automobile. The automobile was reported to leave a trail of flames in areas it passed. It is also able to speed up to ████ kilometers per hour.

Date of Recovery: █/█/████

Location of Recovery: █████ family's garage

Current Status: Unknown. Last seen driven by Dr. Gerald.

Item Description: A Roman marble bust sculpted in the 4th century CE, depicting the Emperor Constantine the Great. When placed on a flat surface measuring over 50 cm², it will cast a cross-shaped shadow.

Date of Recovery: ████/██/██

Location of Recovery: Palermo, Sicily, Italy.

Current Status: In a Plexiglass container at Site-77's Historical Anomalies Wing.

Item Description: A black revolver with white plating on the handle of unknown make or model, and one (1) brown leather revolver holder of unknown make or model. When the holder is stitched onto any fabric, and the revolver is inside it, will be unable to be found by any other individual than the one who stitched it on. Anomalous effect will not work with any other weapon.

Date of Recovery: █/█/████

Location of Recovery: Nice, France.

Current Status: In the possession of Agent ███████.

Item Description: A black top hat. When worn, any sounds made by the person wearing it is replaced by an unidentified male voice saying an onomatopoeic word based on the sound (for instance, the sound of sneezing will be replaced by the word "sneeze").

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: ███████, ███████

Current Status: In possession of Agent █████

Item Description: A bronze statue of an unknown canine, 1.25 meters in height. Any mammal weighing less than 15 kilograms present within a 5 meters radius from the statue will be violently dismembered by an unknown force.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/20██

Location of Recovery: ████ Pet Shop, Berlin, Germany.

Current Status: In display at Storage Site-12's personnel lounge for decorative purposes, with a note explaining its anomalous properties.

Item Description: A poster depicting design sketches for the facades of the Sagrada Família cathedral by Joseph Subirachs, in Barcelona. Object cannot be attached to a vertical surface by an adhesive for any length of time greater than 10 hours, and will detach regardless of the strength or volume of adhesive used.

Date of Recovery: ██/██/████

Location of Recovery: Barcelona, Spain.

Current Status: Framed and on display in Site-93's cafeteria.

Item Description: A sheet of blank A4 paper, folded into a paper aeroplane. Upon being thrown, air resistance and gravity both have a decreased effect upon it.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███████, ████████

Current Status: Lost after being thrown off the roof of Site-██.

Item Description: A tin can labeled "WORMS" in white paint. Opening the lid reveals another lid directly underneath. Analysis has resulted in the conclusion that there may be a theoretically infinite sequence of lids.

Date of Recovery: ████-██-██

Location of Recovery: ███████, West Virginia

Current Status: In safe anomalous item containment locker.

Item Description: A doorframe, composed of mahogany wood, which renders observers on one side unable to smell anything on the other side.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: Mama ███████'s Garlic Shop, Paris, France

Current Status: Installed in Site ██ Cafeteria Doorway

Note: Thanks for this, it makes it a lot easier to eat.

-Site Director Johnson, Site ██

Item Description: A pill bottle, made to contain potassium supplements. Anything placed in the bottle will, when ingested, will take on the medical proprieties of a potassium tablet.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██

Location of Recovery: Amcal Chemist, Australia

Current Status: In Dr R███████'s personal quarters.

Note: Can we have one of these. but for painkillers, and in the medical ward?

-███

Item Description: A crow that will cause any observer to burst into fits of laughter.

Date of Recovery: ██-█-██

Location of Recovery: █████, Wales

Current Status: Died of natural causes.

Item Description: One pair of shoes that will cause any female wearer to develop an obsession with German history, lasting anywhere from four to five months.

Date of Recovery: ██-█-██

Location of Recovery: Berlin, Germany

Current Status: Destroyed.

Item Description: A carton of ████████-brand cigarettes. Upon smoking, subjects can only communicate through operatic vocals, with an effect lasting from 8 to 15 minutes.

Date of Recovery: ██-█-2004

Location of Recovery: Phoenix, Arizona

Current Status: Consumed a month after recovery by the Site-22 staff.

Note: These were really fun while they lasted. Someone should put them in the break room vending machines if the Foundation ever comes across any more.

-Agent ██████

Item Description: A kiteshield with a cross in the center, that, when held, attracts any propelled weapons to its cross.

Date of Recovery: ██-██-████

Location of Recovery: SCP-2699

Current Status: Heavily damaged via grenade.

Note: For god's sake, be more careful with these things. They were produced circa 1117. They're not designed to be used against modern armaments. Arrows and swords only, from now on. -Dr. Moghadam

Item Description: A copy of Stephen King's Carrie. After reading the twenty-first page, the reader will temporarily become deaf.

Date of Recovery: ██-█-████

Location of Recovery: ████, Scotland

Current Status: Incinerated.

Item Description: A potted palm tree that constantly secretes coconut oil.

Date of recovery: 12-2-1997

Location of Recovery: Mogadishu, Somalia

Current status: Planted in the Site 27 Vivarium.

Item Description: A red 2011 Alfa Romeo 159. Upon sitting in the driver's seat, the driver spontaneously forgets how to use a stick-shift transmission. They regain this knowledge upon stepping out of the car. (It should also be noted that this car has a stick-shift transmission.)

Date of Recovery: █-██-20██

Location of Recovery: █████████, Poland

Current Status: In storage, awaiting repairs due to a burnt-out clutch.

Item Description: A black computer keyboard manufactured by ████. No matter what is typed, the keyboard will instead transcribe the script of Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona.

Date of Recovery: █-██-2003

Location of Recovery: ████████ Electronics Recycling, █████████, New York

Current Status: Discovered to be the result of a custom-programmed microcontroller, which had been implanted in the keyboard as part of a "practical joke" contest between two co-workers of the owner; subsequently recycled.

Item Description: A plain white t-shirt that causes anyone who wears it to express a strong hatred of any object whose English name begins with the letter 'C' and ends with the letter 'Y'.

Date of Recovery: █-█-20██

Location of Recovery: █████ ███, Wisconsin

Current Status: Incinerated.

Item Description: A pack of six (6) grape-flavored sodas that are always dropped at least once before the contents are completely consumed.

Date of Recovery: █-█-201█

Location of Recovery: Site-██

Current Status: Drunk. First two by Agent ████, third offered to Agent ██████ before bringing the last three to Foundation attention, remainder used for testing.

Item Description: A black-and-white picture of a flock of sheep that causes any human within a five (5)-meter radius to feel as if they are being watched.

Date of Recovery: █-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███ ██████

Current Status: Incinerated.

Item Description: A tree whose leaves always fall directly underneath it, no matter the strength of any wind blowing on the tree. Afterwards, the leaves retain no anomalous effects and can be blown away.

Date of Recovery: █-██-████

Location of Recovery: Atlanta, Georgia

Current Status: Planted in the courtyard of Dacula High School.

Item Description: A wooden cane that gives any creature making skin contact with it the slight urge to eat it. Repeated exposure appears to strengthen the effect.

Date of Recovery: █-██-201█

Location of Recovery: ██████ hospital

Current Status: Broken in half after original owner attempted to consume it.

Item Description: A small plastic wind-up toy in the shape of a bird. When wound, will orient itself towards the nearest window or source of natural light. When wound up in a room with no natural light sources, will hop in place and emit faint squeaking noises until winding down.

Date of Recovery: █-██-████

Location of Recovery: ███-█-██, Honolulu, Hawaii

Current Status: Lost following outdoor testing. Personnel occasionally report faint squeaks coming from various areas in the courtyard used for testing.

Item Description: Dr. █████, who apparently has all the memories of his deceased pet octopus.

Date of Recovery: █-██-2013

Location of Recovery: Site-██

Current Status: Working with SCP-████

Item Description: A human brain in a jar. Human skin contact with the jar gives the subject memories of the brain's deceased owner

Date of Recovery: █-██-2014

Location of Recovery: A morgue in [REDACTED] Hospital, at Berlin, Germany

Current Status: Kept in the same jar as previously mentioned.

Item Description: A █████ brand name golf umbrella. When opened water pours out and thunder could be heard.

Date of Recovery: 07-18-19██

Location of Recovery: Lake C████████ Venezuela

Current Status: Stored in Low-Value Item Wing of Storage Site-23

Item Description: A Triumph Adler TA-1600 brand computer. When activated all peripherals are turned into aged Abbaye de Belloc cheese

Date of Recovery: 11-██-2012

Location of Recovery: Algonquin College Canada

Current Status: Stored in site-██ break room

Log of extranormal events
Foreword: This page is to document anomalous events that have attracted the Foundation's interests, but occurred too briefly for the Foundation to secure or contain them. Instead, the Foundation deploys a cover-up team to conceal the evidence from the public. This is merely a reminder to agents and researchers that not all of them can be contained.

-Agent Carriontrooper

Event Description: Footage from surveying vessel "Calypso" recorded several bright flashes on ocean bottom, similar in intensity and duration to hand grenades being fired.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ██.██ East, ██.██ North, Sub-Littoral zone of Atlantic Ocean.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Footage deleted, camera error blamed.

Event Description: 3 civilians reported a glowing figure appearing in the center of a nearby lake, two cell-phone images supporting. There is no reason to believe the anomaly lasted longer than several seconds before abruptly disappearing.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ██████ Lake Camp Grounds, ████████, USA

Follow-up Actions Taken: Local media sources monitored, rumors involving the existence of a "lake ghost" disseminated. Special attention is to be paid to the region in the future.

Event Description: A naked, glowing humanoid figure appeared suddenly in the city's subway and seen by several eyewitnesses and captured by the security cameras. It disappeared after a few seconds.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ███████, Spain

Follow-up Actions Taken: A team of disguised agents and a makeshift holographic projection unit were taken on location. Team explained that the incident was a part of their avant-garde 'urban shock art' exhibition all over Europe. Fake viral media planted to give credence to the team's supposed art group.

Event Description: Spider population of █████████, a small town, quintupled over the space of three months. Not known to correspond to any significant SCP item activity.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: █████████, Nevada, USA

Follow-up Actions Taken: Data suppressed, area to be monitored for future natural population spikes.

Event Description: Time skips between 2.5 and ██ hours take place in ████████████, North Carolina before normalizing to one day after initial skip. Non self-correcting electronic devices such as digital clocks are seemingly unaffected and display incorrect times at different areas of the town. Event bears similarity to a relatively unnoticed event in ███ █████, Nevada though no connection can be traced between the two events.

Date of Occurrence: █/██/████

Location: ████████████, North Carolina (███ █████, Nevada)

Follow-up Actions Taken: Local news reports electromagnetic interference caused by local power plant. Small observation team assigned to area.

Event Description: ████████, Wales, was found to be abandoned. The population was found comatose in a nearby field. ██ hours after the estimated time of the event the population awoke with no recollection of the event.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ████████.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Population dosed with Class B Amnestics and a cover story was established. A road accident with a Samson-Craig Products (an SCP front company) chemical tanker was staged, an emergency evacuation camp was arranged and the population given £███ per head compensation. In the ██ years since there event there has been no recurrence or abnormal behaviour in the population.

Event Description: Three similar looking men were witnessed fighting in a gas station parking lot. Eyewitness reports maintain that each man claimed to be ██████ █████████, a well known local car salesman, and were fighting over which individual was the "true" one. Two of the men were killed when the third procured a crowbar. The third was fatally shot by a local police officer.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: █████, Oklahoma

Follow-up Actions Taken: Witnesses and involved persons were questioned and given Class B Amnestics. Close family members of ██████ █████████ were questioned and given Class A Amnestics. A cover story involving the individual's suicide was established. The three bodies were recovered for autopsy and are currently maintained in a Site-19 minimum security storage freezer.

Event Description: An American tour group reported catching brief glimpses of a Hispaniolan Amazon (Amazona ventralis) with compound eyes and irregular horizontal mandibles while on a jungle hike.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ██████, Puerto Rico

Follow-up Actions Taken: Witnesses were issued Class B Amnestics. All recording devices were confiscated. Relevant photographs are available in the Foundation Archives. An operative was assigned to sweep five square kilometers around the original site of contact for two weeks. No further information was recovered.

Event Description: An employee from the [REDACTED] toy store was found dead in the back room covered by action figures. Security camera footage showed the figures becoming animated and attacking the employee. The figures did not animate when anyone else entered the storeroom.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ████████, █████.

Follow-up Actions Taken: The security footage was confiscated and replaced with false tapes displaying the employee committing suicide and knocking over a stack of boxes containing action figures. Witnesses of the actual body were administered a Class B Amnestic. The toy store, its employees and the surrounding area was put under surveillance for three (3) weeks, and was marked as a POI in Foundation documents on █████. The brand of action figures and the factory that produced the relevant batch were investigated by covert agents. Nothing of interest was found.

Event Description: Static on channel 682 broadcast by the ████ Satellite company spontaneously took the form of 27 concentric black and white circles for 18 seconds.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: All TV sets served by ████ in the USA.

Follow-up Actions Taken: The only footage of the event recorded was taken by The Foundation as part of The Foundation's investigations into SCP-███. Because Channel 682 did not have content at the time of the event, it is estimated that fewer than ███ people witnessed the event. As such, knowledge of the event has been allowed to persist as an urban myth. SCP-███'s monitoring will also detect any recurrences, although none have appeared.

Event Description: Several students attending █████████ Collegiate began complaining about a loud buzzing noise. A custodian for the school located the source as a single monitor in the computer lab during his duties, and reported the power button was unresponsive. When the lab technicians arrived the next day, they unplugged the monitor after other attempts proved futile. Witnesses of the event report a scream playing through the computer's speakers, and the image of a digitized face screaming appeared for a moment before power was lost.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: █████████ Collegiate in the ██████, ████████, USA.

Follow-up Actions Taken: The monitor was confiscated and replaced for inspection. Nothing of interest has been found.

Event Description: A mission not typically present was located in the MMORPG [REDACTED]. The mission was only accessible via a bugged area of terrain but had existed for an unknown period of time. The mission was an exact replica of Site-██ with several hostile SCPs (not necessarily those housed there) as opponents. No code for the mission was found on the game's server by Foundation Investigation teams.

Date of Occurrence: Unknown. Detected ██/██/████

Location: Geographical location unclear.

Follow-up Actions Taken: A viral attack on the server was made, resulting in a total shut down. After the server was re-initialized the mission was absent. All individuals known to have found the mission have been given Class A Amnestics. There has been no recurrence to date.

Event Description: The entire stock of ███████ ███████ souvenirs at the ███████ ███████ stall on the ██████ waterfront were spontaneously altered so that the face of ███████ ███████ was removed. These objects produced a loud screaming sound when exposed to daylight, and all writing implements within the stall formed symbols associated with the Cult of the Demon ██████ when an attempt to write with them was made. 8 days after the event, all altered stock vanished from Foundation storage.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ███████, Nova Scotia.

Follow-up Actions Taken: All altered stock seized and impounded, amnestics administered.

Event Description: ██████ ████ Church members all simultaneously experienced what they later described as "grace," in which each was given a vision of the return of Christ. Simultaneously, local community members not attending saw a bright flash of light emanating from the windows and doors of the building.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ████████, West Virginia.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Flash explained as a power surge; church members currently under further investigation.

Event Description: Foundation telescopes observe asteroid 330 Adalberta accelerate at a rate varying between ██ and ███ m/s2 for a period of five days.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████ to ██/██/████

Location: Main belt.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Initial discovery of asteroid explained as erroneous, object now under periodic surveillance. Current orbit determined to pose no threat of impact with Earth.

Event Description: During an automobile accident, the body of ████ ██, a passenger in one involved vehicle, expanded to fill the entire interior of the vehicle. Because Mr. ██'s expanded body had taken on a consistency similar to stiff foam rubber, the other occupants of the vehicle were protected from the impact, and were the only survivors of the crash.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ██████, Connecticut

Follow-up Actions Taken: Body confiscated, all other occupants and responding personnel administered Class A amnestics. Tissue tests indicate that Mr. ██ is still alive, though the tissues of his body have become an undifferentiated mass, and tests of neurological function are inconclusive.

Event Description: 17-year-old █████ ████████ dies while recording video blog after large, wide-mouthed creature appears from closet and devours her arms. Creature promptly disappears at estimated time of death. Video recovered by local law enforcement, embedded agent intercepts.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ███████, Michigan.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Footage intercepted; all knowledgeable parties given Class-B amnestics. Cover story involving local psychotic planted. No physical evidence relating to entity found in house. No similar entities have been encountered since. Area is to be kept under surveillance until ██/██/2013.

Event Description: Crew on █████-██████ oil rig (PCO-██) reported a 'tentacle' of water rising from the ocean and striking the rig. 'Tentacle' lost form upon impact, and no damage was done. Some personnel report a screeching sound "like car brakes on hot cement".

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: Pacific Ocean, coordinates [REDACTED].

Follow-up Actions Taken: Only one recording of the incident was made on crewman B████ A█████'s mobile phone, which was soon confiscated for further investigation. A team of divers was sent to the area for investigation, but nothing abnormal was recorded apart from an unusually high level of magnesium in the water.

Event Description: Unidentified and unaccompanied child (estimated age: 7 years old) in hospital waiting room produces more than 400 kilograms of vomit in 5 minutes, before dying; other patients describe hearing sounds of "glass breaking" during the emesis.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ███████ Public Hospital, ████████████, Madagascar

Follow-up Actions Taken: Majority of vomit had been incinerated before Foundation agents arrived on-site; inspection of hospital incinerator revealed no anomalies. All remaining samples of vomit were confiscated; analysis revealed no anomalies, except that child had been suffering from salmonella poisoning. Witnesses were given amnestics. Child was never identified; body was removed from hospital morgue and is currently maintained in a Site-19 low-value storage freezer.

Event Description: A cylinder of land, measuring 30m in diameter and 5m below ground, centered on a farmhouse, is instantly rotated 16.92 degrees counterclockwise. This rotation severs all water, sewage, electric and telephone connections. Single inhabitant at time of occurrence reports event and a momentary feeling of disorientation on a personal blog.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/201█

Location: ████, ██, USA

Follow-up Actions Taken: Property is condemned through regular channels and acquired by the Foundation within 7 days. The owner of the property and all occupants are given class B amnestics and re-located. Standard information countermeasures are employed to discredit event as urban legend. Subsequent analysis of property and underlying land reveals no detectable spatial or extradimensional anomalies.

Event Description: Red-coloured rain fell on some portions of the Indian state of Kerala, causing much panic and media attention. Instances of black, yellow and brown rain were also reported over the next 9 months.

Date of Occurrence:█/██/19██ to ██/█/19██

Location:Kerala, India

Follow-up Actions Taken: Procedure C-39 "Houdini" was initiated, whereupon all samples of the rain collected for analysis were replaced with identical-looking solution containing red algae spores and the anomaly blamed on a local algae bloom coupled with strong winds. Analysed samples of red rain were found to contain ordinary red dye. Subsequent yellow, brown and black rains were dealt with in a similar fashion, and samples were merely found to contain ordinary coloured dye.

Event Description: Loud screaming sounds were heard emanating from all rooms of ██████ ██████ Elementary School for three consecutive hours. The screams were ascribed to no less than six distinct voices. No source for the screaming was found.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ████████, ███████

Follow-up Actions Taken: Amnestics were administered to all faculty and students. Standard disinformation countermeasures were employed.

Event Description: An email is sent to, as near as the Foundation can determine, every active email address in existence, including Foundation intranet-only addresses. The contents are identical across all emails and consist of the following message, in Spanish: "Hi, this is Jorge. It has been fun playing with you, but I am going to visit friends next door now. I will be back later to collect my toys. Take care of the place!" Backtracing reveals that all emails originated from the same unassigned IP address.

Date of Occurrence: 12/21/████

Location: N/A

Follow-up Actions Taken: Foundation agents edited the internet-rumor-debunking site ██████.com to include a statement that the email was a massive hoax. The Foundation has periodically mass-emailed similar messages to more limited audiences as a smokescreen. The originating IP address is being monitored for any further activity.

Event Description: A weather report via ███ █ News showing a 5-day forecast shows in the background a cloud formation resembling SCP-████.

Date of Occurrence: 11/11/████

Location: ██ ███████, ██

Follow-up Actions Taken: Amnestics administered to anchors and cameramen, as well as all members in the area who saw said broadcast. Mobile Task Force Nu-6 posted false posts on █-████'s subforum /█/ posing as a group of hackers claiming responsibility. Area monitored for future reoccurrences.

Event Description: A large portion of rock on the east rim of the ██████ █████ waterfall abruptly eroded, altering the shape of the cascade. As a result, all views of the waterfall adopted a slight memetic property. Anyone seeing the landscape began to perceive the "click" noise heard on swallowing as a voice saying the word "coke." Photographs and video recordings made at this time had the same effect.

Date of Occurrence: 08/24/████

Location: ██████ █████, ███████

Follow-up Actions Taken: The event lasted for roughly thirty minutes and affected an estimated ███ people. Foundation agents were beginning to secure the area when another section of the waterfall underwent a similar change, nullifying the memetic effect. Affected patrons were [DATA EXPUNGED] according to standard meme scrubbing protocols. Cover story placed and all photos and videos confiscated. Region is to be given special attention in future.

Event Description: All water supplies within the ██████████ Building, Leicester produced a viscous blue liquid that witnesses reported to taste of [REDACTED], subjects who imbibed the liquid were [DATA EXPUNGED], resulting in █ casualties.

Date of Occurrence: ██/12/████

Location: ██████████ Building, Leicester, United Kingdom

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class-A amnestic administered to all witnesses, agents currently investigating the local pumping station.

Event Description: A man, believed to be ████████ ██████, a suspected associate of the group known as Marshall, Carter, and Dark Ltd., entered an abandoned factory at ███ ██████ in the Brazilian city of Salvador. Mr. ██████ was being tracked by two Foundation operatives who followed him into the building. A sound of bubbling water followed by gunshots was heard from within the building, and upon entry the operatives found Mr. ██████'s body in a state of advanced decomposition associated with at least three weeks of exposure to the elements, despite only five minutes elapsing between him entering the building and the discovery of the body. A pistol, which had been fired three times, was found in his hand. No sign of his target or possible attacker was found.

Date of Occurence: ██/15/████

Location: ███ ██████, Salvador, State of Bahia, Brazil.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Information suppressed in local media. Body removed from site by Foundation operatives disguised as Brazilian Federal Police and interred at morgue at Site-██.

Event Description: Six sperm whale carcasses were found beached along a 2km stretch of coastline at ████████, New Zealand. When autopsy was performed as part of a civilian research program, it was discovered that the chest cavity of all six whales had been hollowed out postmortem without any damage being done to the exterior of the animals. Exploration of the chest cavity revealed the chest cavity of each whale had somehow been stuffed with what appears to be machinery components trapped in clear plastic.

Date of Occurrence: ██/18/████

Location: ████████, New Zealand.

Follow-Up Actions Taken: Area sealed. All members of the research team detained and administered Class-A Amnestics. False story disseminated claiming that the decomposition of the whales' bodies had led to the build-up of toxic gas inside the carcasses, leading to government intervention on grounds of public health. Masses found inside body cavities removed and shipped to Storage Site-██. Remains incinerated in the field and disposed of through normal channels.

Event Description: Between three and four men wearing black clothes and masks broke into ██████ ████ Art Museum, which was at the time hosting an exhibition of the work of local artist ██████ ████. The men evaded security and stole three paintings from this exhibit. Two security cameras capture the men entering the building by way of a cylindrical tunnel which opened in a wall to allow them passage, and which closed as they left, apparently created by a device operated by one of the criminals. No trace of the tunnel or any meaningful forensic evidence was found at the scene.

Date of Occurrence: ██/20/████

Location: ██████ ████ Art Museum, ███████.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Footage destroyed by Foundation operatives embedded in ███████ Police Department, who at the present time have closed the case. Investigation into the criminals and the device used in the robbery were briefly attempted, but nothing of consequence was found.

Event Description: Two male cadavers were found outside of █████ █████ Park, Alabama. Each wore lead masks and and a series of black rashes were visible on the skin of the faces. Locals in the area during the actual event reported that the two men "hovered in the air" for an estimation of 5 minutes before dropping dead. After the bodies were taken to ████ Hospital for autopsy, both the men were seen at the park. They promptly killed any living being within the area, even taking the time to crush insects. Overall, there were █ civilian casualties. When the men were subdued by Operatives from Task Force-██, their bodily organs were found to be completely missing, despite being able to move freely. After the events, the hospital reported that the bodies were missing.

Date of Occurrence: ██/5/████

Location: █████ █████ Park

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class A amnestics distributed to civilian witness, including the hospital staff involved. Bodies of the two subjects restrained and sent for further research at Site ██.

Event Description: The ██████ ██████ flight between Heathrow, London and Hartsfield-Jackson, Atlanta suffered a malfunction and crashed into the Atlantic Ocean, 800 km from the Azores archipelago. Despite this, all passengers and crew walked out the destination gate, remembering only a regular flight.

Date of Occurrence: ██/11/████

Location: North Atlantic Ocean

Follow-up Actions Taken: Information suppressed and mass amnestic treatment performed, recovery of aircraft underway.

Event Description: The north exterior wall of the ████████ Bank in █████, Ukraine burst outward. Debris was found to have landed in such a way as to spell "ĈU NI ESTAS MOJOSAJ ANKORAŬ". Three days later, SCP-███ produced a short message reading "It wasn't us. —Two Eye Oracle".

Date of Occurrence: 27/02/19██

Location: █████, Ukraine

Follow-up Actions Taken: Witnesses given amnestics. Police documentation seized.

Event Description: The town of ██████ was struck with an unidentifiable wave of energy, negating gravity and briefly lifting the entire town twenty meters into the air. The entire town was destroyed and a large amount of the population was killed.

Date of Occurrence: 13/04/195█

Location: ████

Follow-up Actions Taken: Media and survivors were given a cover story of a rogue meteorite impact.

Event Description: Every domesticated cat inside the city limits of ██████, Norway traveled 10.9 km SE to ██████████████, Sweden over period of 8 hours. Cats congregated in groupings of 13-25 in a field behind [DATA EXPUNGED] for 2 hours, then dispersed.

Date of Occurrence: 25/09/2009

Location: Norway/ Swedish border

Follow-up Actions Taken: Cats returned of own accord to their homes. Any footage of gathering confiscated for study. Witnesses processed, debriefed, and administered Class B Amnestic. Field searched for abnormalities, blood and urine samples taken from cats in affected areas. No anomalies found. Both ██████ and the field will be under surveillance until 30/09/2014.

Event Description: A miniature High-Precipitation Super-cell thunderstorm formed in █████████, Alaska, and situated itself roughly six (6) feet above the residence of one █████ ████ where it remained stationary for several hours, finally dissipating at 4:30 A.M. It should be noted that even in spite of the sub zero temperatures, the cloud was able to produce liquid rain alongside the normal wind and lightning.

Date of Occurrence: 12/14/20██

Location: █████████, Alaska

Follow-up Actions Taken: Due to the fact that only a handful of witnesses observed the anomaly, a cover-up story blaming a local radio station for causing the event via inadvertently manipulating factory emissions was easily swallowed by the public.

Event Description: During a 24-hour period, all roadkill within 5 km of a 30 km stretch of I-██ appeared to be marsupial mammals native to Australia. Despite some corpses being extremely fresh, there were no reports of motorists striking unusual animals.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/2007

Location: Between ███████████ and ███████, Ohio, USA

Follow-up Actions Taken: Corpses collected and incinerated after analysis revealed them to be non-anomalous. Amnestics provided to witnesses. Standard media coverup procedures enacted.

Event Description: Automated systems worldwide behaved as though an extra day occurred at the end of July. Analysis of planetary motion and stellar alignment confirm presence of 367 days in the year.

Date of Occurrence: 32/7/1996

Location: Global

Follow-up Actions Taken: Hard data revealing date confiscated and destroyed. Most individuals have naturally put the event out of their minds. Foundation-sponsored disinformation campaigns persist.

Event Description: Citizens report encountering a Caucasian male, of short and light-weight physique walking nervously around the town center wearing what was described as a renaissance-fair costume. Subject was reported to be extremely distressed and was speaking to himself in a language later identified as Middle English. Event lasted for approximately 16 minutes.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ███████, Kent, United Kingdom.

Follow-up Actions Taken: A small-scale medieval parade was initiated and local media was suppressed. Three eyewitnesses were interviewed and administered Class C amnestics. Subject was never located, nor identified. A minor Foundation surveillance station was set up in the area. ███████ and its surroundings are to be monitored until 01/01/2003.

Event Description: All lawnmowers in the city of █████ and the surrounding suburbs began emitting high pitched laughter when turned on, in addition to normal sounds produced by the engine. Event lasted for 2 hours and 11 minutes.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/20██

Location: █████, FL, United States.

Follow-up Actions Taken: All affected devices seized by Foundation assets under the pretense of a manufacturers recall. Affected devices showed no anomalous properties, and were returned to the original owners after 10 months of observation.

Event Description: All active computers within [REDACTED]km of every active MTF displayed a black screen with the words "WE SEE YOU ALL SCURRYING ABOUT" in white Times New Roman Font in the middle of the screen.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: [REDACTED]

Follow-up Actions Taken: All known affected devices seized and Class C amnestics were administered to all known witnesses. No devices showed any anomalous properties other than superficial burn damage on all affected hard drives.

Event Description: Within the span of 30 minutes, a total of ██ civilians in ███████ Park were mysteriously killed when their heads spontaneously exploded. Several bystanders recorded the occurrence, and videos were posted on sites such as ███████.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/20██

Location: ███████, ██, Canada

Follow-up Actions Taken: All witnesses were administered Class-A amnestics, and the videos were pulled from the internet.

Event Description: During a speech to a public committee, the mayor of ████████, FL began continuously chuckling at a pun made by an legislative observer for approximately 4.5 hours straight before collapsing into a nearby chair and passing out. He claims to have no memory of the event, nor did anyone else in the room during the speech. The only available evidence of its occurrence was captured entirely on camera.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/19██

Location: ████████, Florida

Follow-up Actions Taken: Any and all witnesses who videotaped the event, along with anyone who viewed the videotapes themselves were given Class B Amnestics, and all resulting videotapes were wiped clean. The mayor himself is under minor surveillance from select members of the Foundation.

Event Description: A forklift being operated at a manufacturing plant underwent spontaneous compression, compacting into a .5m radius sphere in approximately ten seconds. Forklift operator witnessed the entire event from less than 1m away, but remained unaffected.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/20██

Location: █████ ████████, Indiana

Follow-up Actions Taken: Witnesses administered Class B amnestics. Forklift remains confiscated and housed in large storage locker at Site-19; analysis reveals no anomalous properties. Facility is under light surveillance. No further incidents reported to date.

Event Description: A home in the neighborhood of ███████ █████ spontaneously flipped over, causing death to its █ occupants as well as minor damage to connected power lines as well as water and gas pipes.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/200█

Location: ███ █████, California

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class B amnestics were administered to all witnesses. The event was blamed on a gas explosion and the rubble was cleared. The lot was purchased by the Foundation for further study.

Event Description: ██ books in the ███████ library spontaneously ignited. Witnesses reported that the fires unexpectedly did not spread to adjacent books. The fires burned for ██ minutes until the books were completely incinerated.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/200█

Location: ███████, West Virginia

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class-B amnestics were administered to all witnesses. The burnt books were explained as vandalism. As Foundation agents on site were unable to determine any potential causes of the fires, the library, its employees, and all who were present on the day of the incident will be under passive surveillance until no earlier than 20██.

Event Description: During a bank robbery, all hostages (██ customers, ██ employees) are spontaneously transformed into immobile naked skeletons; transformation is visible on all security cameras. Thieves fire several shots, damaging six skeletons and breaking two windows, then abandon the robbery and flee the scene. As local law enforcement enters the bank, all skeletons instantly revert to clothed living humans, with no memory of the robbery having occurred; hostages whose skeletons were damaged by gunfire immediately experience corresponding injuries (three fatally).

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/199█

Location: [REDACTED], Nebraska

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class-B amnestics administered to all surviving witnesses. Deaths of hostages explained as results of unsuspected congenital vascular defects; autopsies reveal no anomalies. Thieves die in multi-vehicle collision while attempting to evade police pursuit; autopsies reveal no anomalies. Footage from security cameras confiscated. Damage to bank premises explained as result of vandals.

Event Description: After Long Island citizen ███████ ██████ died of alcohol-damage related illness, a recliner chair in his home began ascending at speeds of exactly 3.6m/s before eventually accelerating to 16.3m/s. Attempts at stopping the ascent were futile, and the chair broke through any barriers placed in its way. It has since then left the atmosphere and is believed to be orbiting Jupiter.

Date of Occurrence: 2/15/201█

Location: ███████████, New York

Follow-up Actions Taken: Any footage of the incident was wiped and pulled off the internet. Class-A Amnestics were given to witnesses. Foundation operatives in various space programs are advised to destroy any information of the chair if found.

Event Description: During a showing of the movie █████-██ █████, the mildly decomposed corpse of area man █████ ███████ manifests in the same spatial location as its currently living owner, hovering in a supine position and intersecting through the upper torso. The living instance of Mr. ███████ is killed immediately by airway and circulatory obstruction. None of the other theater patrons become aware of the event until the movie ends.

Date of Occurrence: 3/18/████

Location: ██████ ██████, DC, USA

Follow-up Actions Taken: Witnesses given Class-A Amnestics. Movie investigated, nothing of interest found. Bodies of █████ ███████ recovered and autopsied, found to be fused at the molecular level. Intersection of arteries found to spell the word "drums" in the chest cavity. No further anomalies found.

Event Description: All bottles, cans, and drinking glasses in ██████ spontaneously become solid - to elaborate, the hollow or liquid-filled space inside them transfigures to be made of their surface building material. All formerly contained liquid is found in the nearby ███████████ River.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ██████, Germany

Follow-up Actions Taken: All liquid vessels secured and examined; no anomalies found. Vessels replaced. Witnesses given Class-A Amnestics. Foreign substances in ███████████ River explained as industrial contamination from a sunken garbage barge upstream.

Event Description: Eighty-eight thousand, eight hundred and eighty-eight citizens of the state of New Jersey fractured their left scaphoid bones within a two-hour period; radiography showed that all fractures were identical down to a sub-millimeter level.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: various hospitals throughout New Jersey

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class-A amnestics administered to radiography technicians.

Event Description: A young gray dog got fat and blew up. It blew up at a sports game but most folks did not see it. There was much hot rock salt at the scene. If you try to say things re: the dog or the blow-up you can't use words with more than one word-piece.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ███ ███████, █████

Follow-up Actions Taken: The dog parts got cleaned up. The hot rock salt got cleaned up too. The dog did not have tags so we could not find the one who owned it. We gave the folks who saw the dog blow up Class-B mind wipe meds. We told the news that it did not take place. We took the news tapes that saw it take place.

Event Description: An apartment complex in █████ ██████ momentarily became invisible. When the building became visible again roughly 40 seconds later, all tenants were missing their coccyges. Further investigation located the missing coccyges in a plastic bucket in a greengrocer's 2.5 kilometers south of the complex. In addition, television signals being received inside the apartment complex after the event experienced a delay of roughly 40 seconds.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ██████ ██████, █████ ██████, England

Follow-up Actions Taken: Apartment tenants were given localized Class-C amnestics. Coccyges taken into containment and monitored. CCTV footage confiscated and wiped. The building's power was shut off and turned back on; this normalized the television reception.

Event Description: Viewers of the popular late-night talk show ████ █████ ██ ███ █████ reported seeing two different episodes. Approximately 40% watched an episode featuring the famous actor █████ ███ and the musical guest ██ ██████, while the other 60% watched an episode with ██ ██████ with appearance by stand-up comedian ████ ██. Neither one of these episodes was the one which had actually broadcast, and neither one has ever been filmed.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: TV sets throughout the US that were tuned on ███

Follow-up Actions Taken: All recordings of the anomalous episodes showed the actually broadcast episode in later viewings. Viewer's memories of the anomalous episodes seem to have completely faded by themselves by ██/██/████. ███ channel officials who had been contacted about the episodes were administered Class C amnestics and their internal investigation into the matter aborted. Social networks mentioning the matter were intercepted and edited.

Event Description: Forty-nine fresh human corpses appear in the master bedroom of a home undergoing construction, during the approximately 30 seconds between the installation of a door in the doorframe, and the opening of the door for the first time. All corpses were of the same individual (identified as former United States Senator Joseph McCarthy, 1908-1957) at different ages, ranging from an estimated 48 years old to a newborn with umbilical cord still attached. Autopsies revealed that the corpses had all died of aortic dissection; aortic damage was identical on each corpse.

Date of Occurrence: 14/11/1999

Location: Donaustadt, Vienna, Austria

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class-B amnestics administered to construction personnel; class-A amnestics administered to first responders. Home acquired by Foundation and placed under surveillance; no further anomalous phenomena or properties detected. Corpses taken into custody for analysis; no anomalous properties or phenomena detected; corpses currently maintained in Site-19 low-value storage freezer. Remains of original Joseph McCarthy exhumed and analyzed, and re-interred after no anomalous properties or phenomena detected. Foundation pathologists unable to detect any signs of actual or incipient aortic dissection in remains of original Joseph McCarthy, but emphasize difficulty of detecting such signs in remains which have undergone natural decomposition for over 40 years.

Event Description: A group of 10 tourists reported an ocean wave of humanoid aspect. The wave remained still until it disappeared 15 minutes later. Tourists claimed that the entity talked to them about [REDACTED] and how to avoid it. No photographic evidence was found about the event. Within a few weeks of the event, the story of "Ghost of the Ocean" was enacted.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/2001

Location: Playa Hermosa, Costa Rica

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class-A Amnesiacs were applied to subjects and a cover story was established, saying that the event was a little test for the movie "█████: A tale of ████ and ███". Small observation team was assigned to the area.

Event Description: Four office buildings were found upside down on their foundations in ██████████, perfectly balanced.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ██████████, ██

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class A amnesiac administered to witnesses in the vicinity, buildings demolished, funds given to reconstruct buildings "demolished due to structural integrity issues."

Event Description: A parrot was owned by the █████ family was discovered to have the ability to sing the entirety of the song "Crazy Train" by John Michael "Ozzy" Osbourne, including vocals, guitar, bass, drums, and keyboard. No member of the family ever recalls the parrot hearing it.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ███ ████████, Connecticut, U.S.A.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class A amnestics distributed to to the █████ family; parrot seized and ensconced in the Site 19 Anomalous Wildlife Habitat.

Event Description: For approximately 12 minutes, all shed human blood within a 15-km radius of ██████, France spontaneously turned into centipedes. All centipedes in the area turned back into blood following the cessation of the event.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/████

Location: ██████, France

Follow-up Actions Taken: Aerosolized amnestics were deployed over the town, additional amnestics were distributed to women on menstrual periods during the event, due to extreme emotional distress rendering the aerosolized version ineffective.

Event Description: A translucent image of a pair of undulating, bell-bottomed denim pants was visible at high altitude, superimposed over the sun. Image was visible between the hours of 09:00 and 17:00 for a period of 2 days, fading from view around 12:30 on the third day. Event was visible in multiple locations simultaneously, within a 10km radius centered outside the limits of nearby cities.

Date of Occurrence: 02/08/2000-04/08/2000

Location: Bayan Nur and Baotou, Inner Mongolia, China, and Dalanzadgad, Mongolia

Follow-up Actions Taken: Proximity to sun limited direct observations, making suppression simpler than anticipated. Interviews with locals revealed reluctance to discuss event due to fear of being seen as mentally unstable. Amnestics administered to subjects interviewed. Due to location of event sites, Oyu Tolgoi mine in Mongolia was investigated, but no causal link could be ascertained. No further events recorded.

Event Description: On four separate occasions, live hand grenades manifested and were ejected into several vehicles in southeast Asia and Australia, including 7 cars and 2 motorboats. Interviews with survivors failed to ascertain source of grenades or potential suspects. Grenade failed to ignite during last confirmed incident in the gulf of Thailand, allowing for retrieval. The grenade was an American Mk 1 "Pineapple" hand grenade, introduced in 1917 and discontinued before seeing use. Grenade itself bore no manufacturing marks and was not anomalous.

Date of Occurrence: ██/██/198█

Location: ██████, Australia, █████ ██████, Malaysia, ██████, Cambodia, ████████, Cambodia, Gulf of Thailand, South China Sea.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Amnestics administered to survivors. Cover stories given of gas explosion in █ of the incidents. Sea-faring events explained as conventional sinking due to collisions with oceanic debris. Event has not re-occurred since 198█.

Event Description: All copies of James Joyce's Ulysses vanished from five libraries within the city of █████, Ohio. After a duration of four hours, all copies reappeared in a hospital in ████, New Jersey with all vowels omitted from each word in all copies.

Date of Occurrence: █/█/1999

Location: █████, Ohio, ████, New Jersey.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Copies were confiscated by Mobile Task Force Pi-1 ("City Slickers") and Class A amnestics were administered to all affected civilians.

Event Description: All visually impaired students within the ████████ School for the Blind temporarily became invisible, while also gaining the ability to see. While all anomalies subsided in one hour, two students remain unaccounted for.

Date of Occurrence: ██-██-19██

Location: Binghamton, New York

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class B amnestics given to all students and faculty shortly after event. A cover story for the missing students was established, explaining they were kidnapped. While this is a low level security breach, the Foundation has no longer made it priority to recover the missing subjects.

Event Description: All written text at the Theater Department at ██████-██ University spontaneously converted to Wingdings. Digital text remained unaffected until printed out. All affected text contained the phrase "You don't need a script to pretend to be someone else! You're doing it right now! ( ・ω・)"

Date of Occurrence: ██-██-2014

Location: Staten Island, New York

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class A amnestics were administered to all students and faculty present. Affected books were incinerated, and are currently being replaced.

Event Description: A naked human male spontaneously manifests in a crowded courthouse, holding a canned soda, a human head, and SCP-███. Witnesses report the man looked around, as though confused, before saying "Why did I come in here again?" and disappearing.

Date of Occurrence: ██-██-2002

Location: Miami, Florida

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class C amnesics given to all witnesses and all video evidence has been incinerated, and a cover story is currently being placed.

Event Description: A translucent digital clock approxiamtly 3 km across appeared in the sky about 1.5 km above the ground. The anomaly counted down from 05:55. It stopped short at 01:13 before disappearing completely.

Date of Occurrence: ██-██-2006

Location: Devon Island, Nunavut, Canada.

Follow-up Actions Taken: Anomaly was only witnessed by a single fishing trawler. Class C amnestics issued to the entire crew.

Event Description: A civil defense siren in ███████, Wyoming emitted sounds resembling those of a crying infant during a test run. Concurrently, 2-year-old Cameron █████ emitted the sound of a siren going off at 126 decibels in ████████, Connecticut for approximately 2 and a half minutes. Residents in the latter area suffered from lasting ear damage, though Cameron █████ himself suffered no ill effects.

Date of Occurrence: ██-██-2008

Location: ███████, Wyoming and ████████, Connecticut

Follow-up Actions Taken: Class B amnestics were administered to witnesses in both areas and a cover story was used to explain the ear damage.

Pending further additions.